Category Archives: art

The Unused Epigraphs (Part 2)

To read Part 1, all you have to do is click to the previous post!

The unused epigraph for this post is:

“We are never more creative than when we are at odds with the world and there is nothing so artistically destructive as comfort.” – Excerpt from Nerd Do Well, Simon Pegg’s autobiography

I wanted to find something from Simon Pegg because Hot Fuzz is one of my favorite movies of all time. More importantly, Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright’s “Cornetto Trilogy” influenced me quite a bit when it came to writing Falling for the Protagonist. They come at satire from a place of love. Hot Fuzz especially is so clearly an homage to buddy cop films, not just a satire of them. Satire can come from a place of disdain, too. It can be made for cheap laughs. The Scary Movie franchise is a good example here. Is it satire? Yes. Does it come from a place of love? Not in my opinion. These movies seem to be more intent on disparaging and poking fun at horror tropes. Same goes for Not Another Teen Movie and others of its ilk.

I love romance novels. I also find many romance cliches and tropes to be hilarious or overdone. I wanted to express my love and poke (gentle, well-meaning) fun at the same time. Just like my heroes Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright.

As for the quote above, I simply agree with it. Wholeheartedly. For many creatives, the medium (or media) we choose to work through becomes our therapy, our chance to express our strongest and deepest emotions. When I am at odds with the world, I write. Sometimes I create amateur art, too. The utter destruction of America as a country, for example, led me to write blog posts and create art based on a quote from Frankenstein.

A digital painting featuring a tattered rendition of the US flag with glowing, broken text over it stating “I had never beheld anything so utterly destroyed."

I had a teacher once who said that a book was a conversation between the author and a reader. Naturally, being all of fourteen or however old I was, I thought I knew better than this teacher. What an idiot! How can I have a conversation with the author? The book is their words. I never get to give my words back to them. Plus, Jane Austen is dead! I can’t give her my thoughts on feminism or whatever.

Anyway, cut forward a decade or so, and I finally came to understand what this teacher meant. Any time you read a work, whether it’s a memoir or a fictional story, the author is presenting their thoughts and experiences to you, and you, in turn, bring your own thoughts and experieinces back to the text. In this way, you can converse with the author. Just because they can’t hear your side of things doesn’t mean your side is nonexistent. The same is true for looking at a sculpture or painting. Watching a movie. One or more artists is presenting a piece of themselves to you, and you, in turn, offer something of yourself back. This is how artistic interpretation works in a nutshell.

Incidentally, this is why AI “art” is such a travesty; you cannot converse with someone who created art for no reason, who doesn’t know the “Why” behind their own creation. To bring it back to the Simon Pegg quote, comfort is “artistically destructive.” If we don’t feel anything, the urge to create is absent, or worse, perfunctory. Because it cannot feel, AI art is, therefore, empty and meaningless. Real art is of and for emotion, which is why it is (and must be) inherently and exclusively human-made.

What was I feeling when I sat down to write Falling for the Protagonist? Helpless, maybe. Scared. COVID-19 had changed the world forever. Politics in the U.S. were as precarious as ever. I had no idea how I was going to become financially independent. I didn’t know how to protect my sons from anti-Autism rhetoric. And I was buried in romance novels, noticing all these tropes and laughing over some of the patterns I’d noticed. I poured my discomfort and uncertainty into Falling for the Protagonist. I used that book to examine gendered dynamics and the entitlement that some people feel to other’s time and attention. As noted in the previous post, I explored reality through fiction. (For more of this, please feel free to check out a feature I wrote for Culturefly.)

Have I made a point? Who can say? There will be one more post about my “unused epigraphs” and then we will move on! If you are reading this in the UK, it is likely that Falling for the Protagonist is already available in a bookstore near you! If you’re in the US, the release date is September 22nd! Preorder now!

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How to Do Everything in One Lifetime

Alright. Confession time.

I’m an atheist.

I know. I know. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. If I lose reader(s) over this, I’ll understand.

The thing is, I don’t think you understand how much I wish, wish, wish I believed in some kind of After. It’s incredibly daunting to be absolutely certain in my belief that This Is It. Along those lines, I would be delighted to be proved wrong after my life on this ball we call Earth is over. Even Hell would be a kind of comfort. Sure, there’s torture. But there’s also a continuation of consciousness, which is a gift Satan/the Devil/Beelzebub/Ben Stein (whoever’s in charge) can’t take away from me.

Side Note: If Hell truly is a burning pit, then the aforementioned Evil Leader wouldn’t have to do much else to ensure my eternal torment. I hate the heat with (heh) a fiery passion. Just leave me in some humidity at a temperature above 70 degrees (Fahrenheit) and I’ll be a sweaty, angry, puddle of misery for the rest of time.

Anyway, what I’m saying is, I wish the term YOLO hadn’t been co-opted by dude-bros and Linked In Lunatics because… it’s kind of true (to me). And if you only have one life to live, well… as Clark Gable once said on the set of Casablanca, “Live, Laugh, Love.”

The way I see it, if you’re waiting for the next incarnation or some kind of After to learn how to drive stick shift, or travel the world, or watch birds through binoculars (colloquially referred to as “bird watching”), then… well… what if there isn’t an After? Maybe it’s better to try some fun stuff out now. Just in case.

As such, I have compiled a handy-dandy list of supplies and to-dos for you to begin your doing-everything journey. It’s fun! Here are the three biggest, most important rules to live by:

  1. Give yourself permission to try as many new things as you want. Don’t hold yourself back because you already have “enough” side projects, or you “never finish anything,” or your boss wants you to work more overtime.
  2. Give yourself permission to drop something the second you lose interest. Don’t think of it as “never finishing” stuff, or you “failing” at something. Think of it as that thing failing you. You’re not bad at graphic design. Graphic design is bad at being interesting and engaging! So there!
  3. Give yourself permission to not be perfect right away, or ever. You can enjoy doing something and be mediocre at it! These things are not mutually exclusive. The key question is: Are you enjoying it? If not, see Rule 2 above.

Recommended Supplies:

  1. (Optional) One (1) ADHD diagnosis
  2. (If possible) Smart Phone
  3. Libby app (and/or library card if you prefer print media)
  4. How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas C. Foster
  5. Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
  6. How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis
  7. Modern Dried Flowers by Angela Maynard
  8. Stephen Biesty’s Incredible Cross-Sections of Everything Illustrated by Stephen Biesty, Written by Richard Platt
  9. (For people who plan to procreate or are currently expecting) Expecting Better by Emily Oster
  10. Calendar and/or Calendar App and/or Planner and/or Planner App
  11. Focus Friend, by Hank Green (Your focus friend is a bean that likes to knit.)
I named mine Lyndon Bean Jonson (the character limit necessitated eliminating the H in Johnson)

12. Art Supply Basics (paper, pencils, crayons, markers, ruler, scotch tape, masking tape, sharpies)
13. (If funds allow) An actual digital camera
14. A microphone that hooks up to your phone and/or computer
15. A good set of headphones and/or earbuds
16. A YouTube account
17. At least one musical instrument (marimba, ukulele, concertina, whatever suits your fancy)
18. A good therapist (I wish you the best of luck in your pursuit of this)
19. Water bottle (reusable, washable, etc. You gotta hydrate!)
20. Rain Rain app (for when you need to meditate, relax, and/or sleep more easily)

They have a section called Only Fans. I respect this.

Got all that? Okay. Good. A lot of this stuff is free or reasonably priced. Yay! You can do what you want to do, even in this economy. Feel free to choose your own reading schedule, add or remove books at your discretion. Use the planner or calendar of your choosing to schedule your time and plan out the order of doing things that interest you. Or just go nuts and improvise every day if you enjoy chaos.

Remember this list is variable! Maybe you are tone deaf or just have no interest in creating music. Strike number 17 off the list. You just got really into embroidery? Time to add needles and thread to the list. You just realized you actually hate embroidery? Time to take needles and thread right back off the list.

How do you explore your interests? How do you find out all the things you potentially love to do? It’s hard to do in a country (in a world?) where the first thing we ask kids of a certain age is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I hate this question. Please replace it with something like, “What do you like doing?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that says:

  • Hello, small child. Have you started thinking yet about how you will contribute in a meaningful way to the capitalist machine that is our society?
  • Think only of the future. Childhood is meaningless. You’re not even a person yet. You will only have value when you are an adult.
  • You can only ever be one thing.
  • Once you decide on what to “be,” you are stuck with that. You can never quit, change your mind, or add another thing. (At least not without years of therapy to help you overcome the shame and feelings of inadequacy.)
  • Work/Career = Life. Hobbies are for sissies.

You can be and do many things! Try looking up a university course catalog and reading through the offerings, just to give yourself an idea of all the interests that exist out there. Ask your friends what they do in their free time. (“Video games” IS a valid answer!) Take a class. Watch random tutorials on YouTube with that YouTube account you have thanks to item 16 on the above list.

Look things up. Go down a Wikipedia rabbit hole. Sit on a park bench and people watch. Start writing a novel. Start writing fifteen novels and never finish any of them. Buy a fancy journal, write three entries in it, then never add another entry. Go to your local game/comic shop and see if you can learn how to play DnD or Magic: The Gathering, maybe even join a regularly scheduled game night.

You may or may not only live once, but this is the life you happen to have right now. There’s no need to waste it, no need to confine or limit yourself based on societal expectations for how adults act, or the promise of another even better life after this one.

I have flowers drying in my craft room. Are they already dry? I don’t know! Maybe they’re drying improperly. Or I cut them wrong. But they’re there!

I have a bag of oyster shells!

The booth next to mine at the annual street fair last month was one of those pick-your-own-oyster-get-a-pearl dealios. Not only did they give me a vendor discount to pick an oyster, but they sent me home with a bag of shells. I combined two of my random hobbies to make this necklace I adore.

Blown glass pendant + Resin + Pearl + Oyster Shell Pieces

I made zines! Why did I make zines? Because adults deserve arts and crafts, too!

I made sourdough starter and named it Jeffrey Dough Morgan.

I tried to start a little garden in my backyard and failed SPECTACULARLY. I now have a “garden” of invasive weeds, two zinnias that managed to survive the weed invasion, and four sunflowers I didn’t plant.

My site header is a mess of tabs because I keep adding on new hobbies that I feel the need to share somewhere.

They talk about “Jack of all trades, master of none.” But they never ask what is, to me, the most important question:

Is Jack happy?

Jack deserves to live a happy life. And so do you.

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Hellbound Exists Now

I seem to keep taking on new tasks, responsibilities, and hobbies despite the fact that—last I checked—there are still only 24 hours in a day. The list is long. Like… why do I have a YouTube channel? Do I hate myself? Don’t answer that. The point is, I have been neglecting smaller pursuits like this blog, and am very late in making this announcement: I am self-publishing Hellbound! Digital copies are already available, and physical copies are on the way once I approve them. Even better: I got the most amazing cover art done! You should check out @sofiamercuri.art on Instagram. Seriously. Look at this:

It’s amazing, isn’t it?? Ahhhh! So exciting. Anyway, I published it on Barnes & Noble because I’ve been boycotting Amazon but… if I’m being honest, I’m going to have to cave and publish it on Amazon, too. I hate that. But it’s like… the more available the book is, the more chance people will buy it. And that sucks because I don’t like supporting megalomaniac billionaires. Siiiiiigh. Anyhoo… You can buy it as a Nook book OR you can buy it from Gumroad. Gumroad allows you to set your own price, which is cool. So… that’s it. Eventually I will post an update when hard copies are available. Here’s all the stuff about me:

You see what I mean? Endless list of stuff that I’m doing. I am a glutton for punishment. That’s all for now! Keep your fingers crossed that the paperback and hardcover versions of Hellbound come out looking good!

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