A while back I wrote a post about my rules for writing. At the end of that post was a writing exercise that consisted of a list of words that had to be used in a piece of flash fiction. I said that I would do the exercise and post the results, and so I have.
First, the list of words:
Apple
Expensive
Ordinary
Superfluous
Tangible
Officer
Weirdly
Now the story:
It all started with an apple. I was at the supermarket, obviously. I mean where else do you buy apples? My wife is pregnant. She’s going on four months now. She wanted apple soup. I don’t even know how to make apple soup. Is that a thing? I looked for it in the soup aisle, but all they had was the ordinary stuff. Like chicken noodle and clam chowder. No apple soup.
So I was looking at the apples, and I was thinking of buying organic, but they were way too expensive. Can you believe how much they charge for one freaking apple? And as I was thinking that, I kid you not, a man with a gun ran into the supermarket and open fired on the freezer section. Not on the people. On the food. The noise was deafening. Like it was so loud it was almost tangible.
Weirdly enough, I wasn’t scared. All I could think was, I have to get home to my wife. I don’t know why I thought that. She probably wasn’t in any danger. It was a weird impulse. So I ran out of the store, and I didn’t even realize I was still holding one of the apples, but I don’t think they would care that much if they found out I stole it. In the light of the recent freezer shooting, a stolen apple would just be superfluous, you know? They don’t need to deal with that. So I’m driving home, with just this one apple, and I’m just thinking about my wife and getting back to her. I shouldn’t have been driving so fast, but I was.
And that’s my story, officer. That’s why I was speeding.
The policeman glared down at him for a moment and then smiled.
“Where’s the apple?” he asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“The apple. You said you stole it. Where is it?”
“I…uh…I don’t know. It must have rolled under the seat.”
“It was a nice try, sir, but I’m still giving you a ticket. Maybe consider driving a little closer to the speed limit next time. Give your wife my regards.”
The officer pulled the ticket off his pad and handed it to the driver.
“Have a nice day, sir,” he said, and walked back to his car.
The man sighed and drove home. It wasn’t until he pulled into the garage and was able to search around a bit that he found the apple under the passenger seat.
Sighing, he walked into the house and tossed the thing into the trash.
He found his wife sitting on the couch.
“Hey, honey,” he said. “You’re never going to believe what just happened to me.”
[End]
And there you have it. You’re still welcome to give it a try yourself. I realize now that 500 words might be a little long for a comment. For some reason I thought it’d be shorter. But you should still try. It’s fun.
Here’s a comic:
Word of the Day: Superfluous (adj) – being more than is sufficient or required; excessive.
