Tag Archives: villain

The Beauty of Terrible Stories (Part 2)

I guarantee this post isn’t going to make much sense if you don’t read Part 1 (previous post).  So do that.

Also, before we move on to the joys of Supermarket Mania 2, I want to share a TED Talk with you.  It’s one you may have seen, but as it pertains to creativity and education, I feel it is my duty to pass on the message to those who haven’t.  This guy is funny and has an enjoyable accent.  Watch it, please.

Okay so Supermarket Mania 2, by G5 Entertainment (available as an iPhone app, which makes waiting rooms 12% more tolerable).  I’m only going to recommend the sequel, as the first game is a bit buggy.  Don’t worry about missing any of the drama, though!  That’s what this blog post is for!

The plot of Supermarket Mania (the first): A young woman named Nikki goes to work for an obviously evil man named Torg at his obviously evil supermarket.  Because we all know how evil those supermarkets can get.  Torg’s supermarket serves as a training ground for Nikki and her new friend, Wendy, before they are fired (and replaced with EVIL robot workers).  Wendy’s one and only personality trait is that she likes to eat.  She’s not overweight, mind you.  She just likes to eat.  Pretty much everything she says garners a response of, “But Wendy, you just ate!” or, “Wendy, you cow, stop thinking about food.”

Supermarket 3

Anyway, Wendy and Nikki find an old man who wants nothing more than to start his own grocery store that is full of love and wholesomely bland foods.  They do so.  This somehow puts the Evil supermarket out of business.  White people cheer all around.  (There are no people of color in this game.)

The plot of Supermarket Mania 2: Nikki is still running bland supermarkets!  Through her love and compassion (because that’s what people are really looking for in a supermarket) she succeeded in drumming up a loyal clientele.  There’s Old Lady, Regular Type Lady, Mom, Teenager, Girl with Scooter, Yuppie (I swear that’s what they call him), Thief (She doesn’t actually like this guy), and Celebrity.  They all come and go, and everything seems great for Nikki and her ever-growing list of White pals.  Except Torg is still evil!  And he is bent on getting his revenge by doing stupid things like causing traffic jams outside the store and painting the word “SALE” on the window.  Spoiler alert: None of these plans succeed.

But the best scheme by far is that Torg will stroll into the market, wearing a trench coat and a fedora, and use a giant, wooden mallet to break Nikki’s various machines.  It is worth mentioning here that Nikki has a security guard in her employ.  Mr. Blowfist… or Barefist… or Bareknuckle.  Something vaguely obscene.  His job is usually to stop Thief from thieving (Swiper no swiping?), but he’s never around when Torg comes by with his mallet of doom.

Anyway, I couldn’t resist taking a screenshot for this one.  Because sometimes you can hire someone to help you with your various tasks, and those employees will do nothing to stop a man in a trench coat from smashing the juice squeezing machine.  They will watch him do it with a smile on their face.  Look:

Supermarket 1

Do you see it?  Do you see what’s happening here?  Let me help, just in case you’re lost:

Okay, so now you get it.  I suppose Nikki doesn’t pay the woman in the orange dress to stop people from sabotaging the machinery.  Hell, Nikki doesn’t really pay her at all.  She purchased her for $1,200.  One-time fee.  I imagine Orange Dress would politely ask Torg not to crush the machinery if only she were allowed a paycheck or a union-mandated break.

That’s all I’ve got!  We’re going to move on to a more serious subject next time.  Fair warning.

 

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Villainous Vocabulary

While I was revising Hellbound, I found myself running into trouble with a certain villain’s dialogue.  This, I realized, was because villains are just so…done.  All you have to do is watch a Disney movie to realize that there is a formula that many cliche villains follow.

[EDIT 5/30/13: It seems like a lot of the pictures I put up keep failing to show up.  I can’t tell if that’s due to an error on WordPress or Disney/the owners of the pictures taking them down or something.  I don’t really know how the internet works.  So sorry if some of the pictures are missing.  Feel free to Google anyone you can’t call up an image of in your head]

They are ugly…

Jafar, Aladdin

Governor Ratcliffe, Pocahontas

They are smooth talkers…

Scar, The Lion King

Dr. Facilier, The Princess and the Frog

They want to kill puppies…

Cruella Deville, 101 Dalmatians

You get the drift.  But mainly I wanted to talk about the smooth talkers.  Seriously, there are a lot of villainous smooth talkers…

Hades, Hercules

The reason I’ve been thinking about this is, as I said, I was trying to write a villain.  And he ended up talking like so many Scars and Hades…es that I had to completely rewrite a lot of his dialogue.  It got me to thinking about what makes a villain’s dialogue so cliche.  I mean, there are a ton of phrases out there that have been used so much that they can turn an ordinary character or situation into a cliche.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one (but really don’t):

“Impudent brat”

“Petulant child”

“Just stay out of my way”

“Meddling kids”

“Curses!  Foiled again!”

“You’re going to regret that”

“Get them!”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAH”

Seriously, guys…what is so funny about being a villain?  Why do all villains laugh?  That’s just crazy.  I really never got it.  They’re all “You’re about to die!  AHAHAHAHA.”  What is hilarious about that?  I’ve gotten off topic again.

What I’m talking about doesn’t just apply to villainy.  There are a lot of phrases in the English language that are used more often than anyone can count.  Some of them are unavoidable…

“I love you.”

“I hate you.”

“Half past…”

“Quarter ’til…”

“See you later.”

“Come again.”

And some of them are avoidable.  For a list of the avoidable ones, just scroll up.  How many villains have given the order, “Get them!” to their minions?  A lot.  Does your villain have to?  No.  I’m sure you can think of a way around it.  And this will set your villain apart from the rest.

Another thing…villains might be crazy, but the crazier they act, the more cliche they become (sometimes).

Ursula, The Little Mermaid

Sometimes, a villain can be “crazy,” but still think that they are super sane.  So they act sane.  They speak rationally, and they don’t go for the dramatics.

Villain

If you make your villain a person, just a regular Joe like the rest of us, then you’ve created something scary: a monster that can walk among us, unseen and unsuspected.  Someone who will buy a bouquet of flowers for their girlfriend on the way home from murdering a middle-aged couple in their own home.

Unfortunately, that type of villain has been done, too.  (Think Patrick Bateman, the antihero from American Psycho)  They’ve all been done, really.  But there is a way to take a cliche and make it your own.  You just have to fiddle around with it a bit.

Done now!

Writer's Block Strip 24

Words of the Day (I couldn’t pick):

Impudent (adj) – of, pertaining to, or characterized by impertinence or effrontery.

Petulant (adj) – moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, especially over some trifling annoyance.

P.S. – Sorry for using all your images and whatnot, Disney!  I swear I’m not trying to profit off of them, so please, please don’t sue me.

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