Tag Archives: writer’s block comic

December 29, 2012 · 1:51 PM

Catching Up

Haven’t written in a while.  I bet you’re all waiting on the edge of your seats to find out what’s new and different in my life.  Good news, everyone!  I won’t keep you waiting any longer.

First, as of December 24, 2012, I am 22 years old.  Wooooo….

Second, as of December 18, 2012, I am done with my internship.  However, I am not done with my boss, because also as of December 18, 2012, she has agreed to represent me.  So I have an agent who is going to help me sell Hellbound.  WOOOOO!

For the record, my book finally getting representation does have a lot to do with the fact that I worked for this woman.  BUT, my boss would not have represented me if she thought my book was sub par.  I would know – She has read and rejected her own interns’ work while I was working for her.  I don’t want to toot my own horn…

Blowing own Horn

…but Hellbound is written pretty well, so I’m glad that she recognized this.

So I have an agent who likes my work.  Does this mean that Hellbound is now officially going to get published absolutely yes no doubt about it?  Unfortunately, no.  Part of this blog is about you guys following me on my path to getting published, so I decided to share with you more about the process.  What I have just embarked on is an even longer journey than the actual “writing the book” part, and the road is still paved with rejection.

Let’s say you’re a writer.  For the purposes of this exercise, you are a clown.

Clown Again

Actually, let’s say you’re a clown who has written a book.

Clown with Book

Now, you want to get your book published.  There are a lot of people out there that your book has to impress before that can happen.  There’s your agent…

Clown with Agent

If the agent likes it, he or she will pitch your book to an editor…

Clown with Agent and editor

If the editor likes it, he or she will pitch your book to the editorial staff + whoever the editorial staff reports to.  They are represented here by an amorphous blob of rejection, sometimes known as the Rejection Amoeba.

Clown with Agent and editor and amoeba

If any of these people or Amoebas say no to your book, back to you it goes.  All the way down the line.  And you’re back to being a sad clown with a book, standing on square one and wondering if maybe you should have stuck to making balloon animals at birthday parties.

Depressing as that sounds, I am really happy to have an agent.  It means I am on my way.  I will give you the details of the process as it continues, because I know this is just as important to you as it is to me.  And who knows?  Maybe one day I’ll give away signed copies to all my blog followers.  And by “give away” I mean “Sell at maybe a discounted price.”  Hey, authors need to eat, too.

Comic!  I gave up on trying to write comprehensibly.  You’re welcome! (Click to enlarge)

Writer's Block Strip 7

Word of the Day: Sycophant (n) – a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite.

P.S. I haven’t forgotten about the fact that I mentioned writing my own comprehensive list of advice for writers.  I’ll get around to it eventually.  It’s harder than it seems.

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November 30, 2012 · 3:58 PM

Random Advice and Stuff

As the title of this post suggests, I just have a few random things to throw at you today.

The first is the difference between the words “compliment” and “complement.”  This is important, I feel, because even I have trouble remembering the difference.  “Compliment” (with an I) refers to praise.  I complimented her on her taste in Jello.  She complimented her boss in the hopes that he would give her a raise.  You get it.  “Complement” (with an E) refers to things that go well together.  This wine complements this chicken dish.  Or the drapes complement the carpet.  That kind of thing.

Next is something my sister emailed me.  It’s pretty self-explanatory, so I’ll just paste it here for your amusement.  My comments are in red, and my cartoons are in…cartoon.

Kurt Vonnegut’s Eight Rules for Writing Fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.  In other words, when someone picks up the book you’ve written, make sure they know fairly quickly that it was worth it.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.  This does not have to be the main character, but it helps to achieve point #1 if you have point #2.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.  Motivation.  Your characters should have motivation.  If they do not feel motivated to do anything, then your reader will pick up on that, and then they will cease to be motivated to read your book.  Again, see point #1.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.  This you’re allowed to disagree with, though I feel these two definitions can be given a very broad spectrum.  For instance, describing your main character’s workplace may not be either of those two things, unless you consider that the way the character views their workplace provides insight into their…well, character.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.  I believe he’s referring to starting in Medias Res, or the middle of the action.  This is your choice, but do remember that if starting at the beginning is as close to the end as you feel you can start, then technically you are following the rule properly.  After all, he did say “as possible.”  It’s up to your judgment where and when to start your story.

6. Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.  Yes.  If you’re having trouble with this, it may be necessary to write “They aren’t real” on the back of your hand in Sharpie.  The fact of the matter is that your characters are at their best when all aspects of their strengths, weaknesses, and personalities (that is, each character’s personality, not each character’s multiple personalities) show through.  And this can only happen if you put them in situations that are all over the spectrum of “Good” and “Bad.”

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.  You can’t please everyone.  But if you can make just one person read your story and say that it made them think, or changed their life forever, then you’ve accomplished something big.  Never forget that.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.  This is hilarious, but not entirely true, depending on who you talk to.  I do agree that you can’t leave your readers totally lost.  Readers, for the most part, don’t want to have to fight to keep up with your story.  They should be safely strapped into the rollercoaster, not running on the track behind it hoping to keep up.  However, some suspense and mystery is good, if that’s the type of book you’re writing.  It is okay to keep some things secret, but it is not necessary.  If your readers know something that your characters don’t, that’s called Dramatic Irony.  It’s a thing.  Work with it.  Or don’t.

— Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons 1999), 9-10.
Kurt Vonnegut: How to Write with Style

Vonnegut was a fantastic writer, may he rest in peace, and I think his advice is great.  But, as this is my blog, I do believe I should start working on my own comprehensive list of this sort.  So maybe I’ll whip one up and make that my next post.

Lastly, I think, was just a new comic.  So here you go.  Click to enlarge.

[Edit: I remembered what the last thing actually was!  I made a meme.  Ever heard of First World Problems?  Check it out.  I knew there was something I was forgetting.]

Word of the Day: Complement (v) – something that completes or makes perfect.

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November 18, 2012 · 11:22 AM

The Character You Can Be

So I got a quill a while back as a gift, and I recently started practicing writing with it.

(Also, I’ll give you three guesses who bought the quill for me that’s right it was Liz)

So obviously I’m still a little shaky but check this out:

Nifty, no?

Anyway, on to the post…no, one more thing.  Watch this and laugh with me (Thanks to BuzzFeed for this gem):

Ok, now we can do the real post.

So I wanted to talk to you today about the things that make us human.  I’ve talked before about the little things your characters do to make them seem real, but now I want to talk about the things you do that make you real.  And these are the teeniest tiniest nuances.  Do I think these teeny tiny nuances need to go in your writing?  No probably not.  I mean, that can get boring fast.

John tried to turn the page but that thing happened where two pages stick together, so he took the two pages between his thumb and index finger and rubbed them together until they came apart.

The above situation has happened to most people.  It probably doesn’t need to happen to your characters, because it probably doesn’t add anything to the story.  You probably don’t even need to include “John turned the page.”  “John read a book,” is good enough most of the time, right?

So what’s the whole point of this ramble?  To get you to observe life.  Because that’s what we authors are (or what I believe we should be).  We are observers.  We wonder about things.  We unload the dishwasher with little care for the dishes’ well-being and narrate it as we’re doing it (I grabbed two plates together and they clanked loudly as I dropped them on the stack in the cabinet).  And the more you narrate in your head, and pay attention to minor details, and think about which ones would translate well in writing, the better you will become at conveying a story.

I am eating pita chips and hummus (homemade hummus!) as I write this.  But I’m not dipping the chips in the hummus because all the chips that were left in the bag were broken and tiny.  So what did I do?  I dumped the chip pieces into the hummus, stirred, and began eating with a fork.  Every now and then, I stop typing to take another couple bites and become very aware of the ensuing silence.  I type very loudly.  Almost everyone who has ever shared a room with me while I’m typing has told me so.  Elephants could type quieter than I do.

What do you do when you go to bed at night?  Do you crawl under the covers and pull them up to your neck?  Do you toss and turn?  Do you lie on your side or your stomach?  When you’re showering, do you read the label on your shampoo bottle?  Or do you contemplate the meaning of life?  Do you sing?  These are important things.  You are a character in your own story, as is everyone else in your life.  You are living a story right now.  Be aware of what you’re doing.  Because you are doing more than reading.  You are scrolling down with your right hand (or is it your left?), you are breathing, you are thinking about what I’m saying (hopefully).  Have I made a point?  I don’t know.  But I’m out of hummus chips so I’m going to stop writing.

Comic! (Click to Enlarge)

Word of the Day: Contemplate (v) – to look at or view with continued attention; observe or study thoughtfully.

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