Tag Archives: Books

The Hitman

Last night I couldn’t sleep.  I tossed and turned ’til about four or five in the morning.  It got to the point where I was so desperate to fall asleep that I tried to tell myself a story (in my head, not out loud).  At first I started, “Once upon a time there lived a princess…” but I didn’t like that, so I changed it.  And when I still couldn’t sleep, I drew pictures to illustrate it in my head.  The finished product is here for you today.  Can’t believe I remembered it!

[Begin Story]

Once upon a time there was a hitman.

Hitman 1

The Hitman was very sad because he lived in Solvang, California, and the general population of elderly people and tourists never needed anyone killed.

Hitman 2

Still, The Hitman did not lose hope that his business would one day take off.  He’d never actually killed a person before, but he was sure he could do it.

Meanwhile, to make ends meet, he got a job working the front desk at a local inn.

Hitman 3

But the phone never rang.

Hitman 4

He got so desperate that he tried posting flyers around town.

Hitman 5

But that didn’t work either.

Hitman 6

The Hitman began to give up hope that he would ever get a hit.  Then one day, his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, are you that guy who advertises as a hitman?” asked the man on the other end.

“Yes,” The Hitman said excitedly.  “Did you need someone killed?”

“I’ll say!  Someone keeps sneaking into my yard at night and vandalizing it.  I’d like to have him taken care of, if you know what I mean.”

“Absolutely,” said The Hitman.  “Have you ever seen the vandal before?”

“No, but he comes every night after we go to sleep.  You can sit on the porch and wait for him.  He’ll show.”

The Hitman excitedly took down the man’s address and phone number.  They discussed rates for a bit, and then they hung up.

That very night, The Hitman went to the man’s house, sat on the porch, and waited.

Hitman 6

Sure enough, around midnight, he heard a rustle in the bushes.  Feeling his heart beat faster, he stood up and quietly snuck up behind the source of the rustling.  Both the vandal and The Hitman were in for a surprise.

Hitman 7

The Hitman took one look at the pup and sighed.

Hitman 8

Hitman 9

After that night, The Ex-Hitman never regretted giving up on his dream.  He decided to throw all his efforts into the inn business, and soon he was able to start his own.

Hitman 10

His business was successful.  He was happy.  His customers were happy.  And Pup was happy.  It is safe to say that they lived happily ever after, even though The Ex-Hitman never got to kill anyone.

Hitman 11

THE END

So now you know why I haven’t posted anything new in weeks.  It took me so, so long to draw all this.  But I am ridiculously happy with the finished result despite the fact that this project was completely and utterly pointless.  I was even going to put a comic at the end, but honestly I can’t even think about drawing more right now.  You’ll get a comic next time.  Also, not that it matters, this post was written the day after I came up with the story, but it’s being published many days later, due to the aforementioned drawing time.  So it wasn’t really just last night that I came up with the idea, but the meaning doesn’t really change, so I guess this was a pointless tangent.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little story!  Bye for now!

Word of the Day: Caprice (n) – a sudden, unpredictable change, as of one’s mind or the weather.

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A History of My Life as Told by Books -OOPS!

So I was rereading the first post in this series when I came across this line: “I was a huge horse fan (as you will see in one of my next posts).”

And I was all like…What?  What did I mean by that?  Why did Past Me set me up to be so confused?

And then it hit me.

The Thoroughbred series!  Created by Joanna Campbell!  I had meant to talk all about those books and completely forgot about them!

So here’s a quick add-on to the previous post (Middle Years).

I read thirty-nine of these books, if memory serves.  The bookshelf in my room was 75% Thoroughbred books and 25% Everything Else.  I still own them, though I think I’m missing a couple, and I intend to reread a few someday.  They were such an important part of my preteen/early teen years that I can’t imagine not going through them at least once, just for nostalgia’s sake.

In the end, I’m kind of glad I forgot to include them in my last post.  Why?  Because I devoured these books.  I followed Ashleigh and several other characters as they grew from children into adults and had children of their own.  I’m thinking that means this series deserves its own post.  It illustrates how significant Thoroughbred was to me.  More importantly, since we’re going through my life through the books I read, the first book I ever tried to write was a “horse book.”  Before The Dreamcatchers, I essentially stole a bunch of ideas from Thoroughbred and tried to write a book.  It didn’t work out, but I was determined to try again.  And that is basically how I came to write The Dreamcatchers.  It wasn’t my first attempt, but it was my first completed attempt.  And, in a small way, A Horse Called Wonder started it all.

There.  Now I truly am done with my “middle years.”

No Word of the Day.  It’s the same day as the previous post, so you already got one.

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A History of My Life as Told by Books – The Middle Years

Just so we’re clear, by “middle years” I mean like…middle school.  Not middle age.  I haven’t quite reached middle age yet.

Anyway, I want to say that this’ll be a short post, but I can’t because I know myself better than that.  I do only want to concentrate on a few books, though.  I’d like to list them in the order that I read them, but I don’t know if that’s possible.  You will find all of them on my Books I Recommend page.

To the best of my knowledge, I read The Phantom Tollbooth and The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles before I ever read The Outsiders, but I could be making that up.  Memory is a funny thing, after all.  One thing I know I read before all of those is There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom, and that seems like a great place to start since it will transition nicely from the previous post’s picture books to this post’s “chapter books.”

This book is special to me because it is such a fun read that is rife with literary analysis potential (or LAP) despite being a book for children.  As such, I would probably use this book as a jumping off point if I ever had my very own Creative Writing or English Literature class to teach.  I probably wouldn’t use it for advanced college courses, but it would work for any class that needed an introduction to story telling and/or close reading and essay writing.  Why?  Because the main character, Bradley, has a very clear character arc.  There’s conflict.  There’s symbolism.  There’s even a foil for Bradley – Jeff, the new kid.  All that aside, it’s just a really interesting book that tugs at your heartstrings.

The Phantom Tollbooth is a book that tells a very unique story.  To label it a “kids’ book” would be an injustice.  I believe people of all ages could read and enjoy this book.  Since this is supposed to be a history of my life through books, I’ll briefly touch on that.  I saw a lot of myself in Milo (the protagonist).  When the story opens, we find out that Milo is a bored ten-year-old who always wishes he were somewhere other than where he is, who can never entertain himself with the tools he already has at his disposal.  This rang true for me.  My mother will tell you (please don’t contact my mother) that I was a difficult child to please.  There were plenty of things that could entertain me, but none of them were what I wanted right then.  I always went to her with that tired complaint of “I’m boooored!”  If I wasn’t complaining about that, it was only because I was glued to the television.  Playing outside was a thing of the past.  I was, and still can be, a lazy person.  Reading of Milo’s adventures, sadly, did not change me profoundly.  But it taught me that maybe I should change, and that’s got to count for something.

It’s hard for me to put into words what made The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles so special to me.  I suppose if I had to put it in a nutshell, it was the imagination.  Julie Andrews painted a picture with her book, one that you can briefly glimpse when you look at the cover.  She built a fantasy world with creatures never before heard of, and made you want to believe in them.  I read this book again and again.  I’ll still read it, once I’ve whiddled down the pile of as-yet-unread books I’m working on.  It’s a really great adventure with thought-provoking, three-dimensional characters and a world I wished I could visit.

Ah yes, The Outsiders.  I had to read this book for my eighth grade literature class, and I dragged my feet the whole way.  I had already learned to dread assigned reading.  Even if it was just a paltry two chapters a day, it was too much.  I’d read the synopsis on the back and decided I wouldn’t like it.  Then I started reading.  And suddenly I couldn’t stop.  The assignment was to read from chapters four to six?  I read to the end.  Part of it was that I had fallen head-over-heels in love with the boys in the book.  I was twelve or thirteen at the time, right?  It happens.  The other part was that it opened my eyes.  It’s almost cliche to say, but I had a very black-and-white view of the world when I was younger.  Smoking=Bad.  Gangs=Bad.  And so on.  When I saw that this book was about gang members, I didn’t understand how it could also be about good people.  I just couldn’t grasp it.  I swear this is true.  Reading that book made me rethink many of my preconceived notions about the world and other people.  It really, truly did.  And I reread it many times after that.

So that’s it for that period in my life.  I’ll probably do one more post about the more recent years and then call it quits.

Word of the Day: Paltry (adj) – Ridiculously or insultingly small.

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