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I Don’t Want Your Protagonist to Be Me

Have you ever put a book down without finishing it because you find the main character(s) insufferable? I found myself doing that with an enemies-to-lovers romance I picked up the other day, and I had to ponder for a while why I had found it so intolerable. The book switched between the two love interests for narration, starting with the female lead. (I’m not going to name the book or author in this post because there’s no need to trash an indie author, y’know? She self-published. Good for her.)

The female lead spent the first two chapters complaining about literally everything in her life. Her car. Her job. Her own inability to arrive anywhere on time. Her coworkers. Her customers. The new owner of the restaurant she works at (who happens to be her love interest). She’s just this fountain of negativity from page one.

But the thing is… she’s just like me. Cynical. Sarcastic. Negative. Grumpy. Prone to complaints.

Mini Bex looking angry and saying "I'm not being cynical! I'm being right!"
I’m at the airport so I have to illustrate my blog however I can.

So why don’t I like this character? She’s just like me, so I should be able to see myself in her and relate to her, right? I’ve even had some pretty terrible experiences as a server, so this should be right up my alley.

This truly baffled me even as I put the book down, knowing I’d never pick it up again. But after a long discussion with my loving husband, I managed to weed out the truth.

I don’t want your book’s protagonist to be me. I don’t want the book to be a mirror. I don’t want to feel interchangeable with the protagonist.

I want to be friends with your protagonist.

That’s the difference. It seems like not much would change. After all, many of my friends are cynical and sarcastic, too. But if I meet someone for the first time and they spend the entire time they’re around me complaining until their lips turn blue? Yeah, I probably won’t end up inviting them to grab coffee later. I don’t even complain until my lips turn blue on first meeting someone, and I’m a champion complainer. I have the awards to prove it.

A drawing of a blue ribbon, a trophy, and a medal, all dedicated to being good at complaining.

Although, the trophy could be shinier. And the blue ribbon is made out of really cheap material. Come to think of it, the awards ceremonies always go on too long. I wish they’d cut out one of the speeches. Just one. Is that too much to ask??

The fact of the matter is, it seems (emphasis on seems; I’ll never know for sure if this is true) the author of this book had some personal feelings to vent RE: working in a service industry. Those problems and complaints might be universal, but it all has to do with presentation. Many forms of media are sought out for their ability to provide some kind of catharsis. But when you’re writing fiction based in any way on your own negative experiences, you have to ask yourself: Who is this cathartic for? Me or my thousands of potential readers?

If the answer is just you, maybe some ideas need more workshopping. You have likely had negative experiences that are relatable to the masses–air travel gone wrong, serving a demanding customer at a store, Thanksgiving dinner–but just having your character lament being in one of those situations over the course of many pages does not automatically make them relatable. (And yes, at this point I have become aware of the irony going on here. I am spending this entire blog post complaining.)

I will reiterate: Your protagonist should not be a reader-surrogate. Rather, they should be someone the reader wants to be friends with. After all, what is the reader doing if not hanging out with your character(s) for dozens of pages?

The exception that proves the rule is, of course, Catcher in the Rye. (American Psycho was too obvious to use in this case. Plus, who am I to judge if you like Patrick Bateman’s style?)

I want to talk about the concept of “saving the cat,” and how all this relates to some edits I need to make to one of my own books, but I’ve already gone on too long.

Next time!

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AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAHHHH

Wow okay.  So I’m back.  It turns out when you get pregnant and then get a full-time job teaching eighth grade English, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for blogging.  I’m still teaching, but now I’m doing it in North Dakota.  Yeah, I move a lot.  But I finally have time to blog because it’s summer vacation.  Woo.

Also, my son is adorable just so you know.   I don’t want to post his picture on the Internet, so here’s an artist’s rendition instead:

He has one dimple. It's adorable.

In 18 years, if he consents, I’ll put up a baby picture.  If our robot overlords allow it.

As a mother, I am thrilled.  He is awesome.

As a mother with anxiety, I am terrified constantly.  What if he like… you know… tries things?  Like when he grows up and stuff… he might want to do something.  That freaks me out.  So I’m considering writing a line of children’s books for anxious mothers to read to their young kids.  Titles will include:

The Little Engine That Stayed Within Its Means

Content George

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Who Nonetheless Understood the Value of Portion Control

Maybe I’ll write those one day.  In the meantime, I’ve got a lot of reading to do.  I just returned from the 2017 SCBWI conference in LA, and boy do I have a stack of books.  As such, I think I will herald my return with a series of SCBWI book reviews.  These will be short posts about the books I purchased while at the conference.  A brief preview of the titles to come:

George by Alex Gino

Caraval by Stephanie Garber

Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed

And more!

So keep an eye out because I’m back, and I’m ignoring the fact that I stopped mid-project when last I wrote.  I’ll leave the posts up because whatever, but I’m thinking this blog is going to need to be organized in some way.  There are sooooo many posts.  They maybe need to be culled.  Yet another project for another time.

Toodles for now!

P.S. Happy Birthday, Micah!!!

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Character Bible Part 2 – Paxton

Five years on WordPress.  Wow.  Maybe one day I’ll do something with my life.

Anyway, at time of writing I don’t have any concept art for Paxton and I don’t know if I will by the time I post.  I’ve been dealing with a stomach bug for several days and it’s kind of been making creative endeavors difficult.  That being said, I will do my best to draw something by the time this post goes up or shortly after.

Paxton is the other protagonist for this book – meaning the narrative follows him when it isn’t following Joss – and he is human.  Here is what I wrote for his entry in the character bible document:

Name: Paxton (Fun fact: I named him this because “Pax” means peace and he is not peaceful!  Irony!)

Age in Earth Years: 18

Species: Human

Powers:
None LOL

Backstory:
Paxton lives in one of the old prisoner sectors with his mother.  His father mysteriously skipped off work one night when Paxton was six or seven.  The Enforcers later found him and killed him with no explanation, but Paxton continued to believe that his father didn’t just try to run and abandon the family.  He is right.  Paxton’s father discovered the truth – that the communications system on the planet works just fine.  The Overseer purposefully keeps it jammed in order to maintain control.

When Paxton comes of age, he knows he will be assigned a job like his mother.  Instead he decides to go over to the enemy’s side, becoming an Enforcer so he and his mother can have a better life.  A part of him also hopes he will learn more about his father’s arrest and death.  He eventually does learn this, right before joining the rebellion and sharing what he knows.

[This section omitted to prevent major spoilers.  I want to keep something a mystery.]

Appearance:
Black hair, olive skin, green eyes.  Tall and muscular.  Clean shaven.  Hard lines in his face.  Serious like Kocoum.

Kocoum is that one dude from Disney’s Pocahontas?  Yeah?  He’s too serious?  Alright moving on.

When I initially created Paxton, I didn’t want him to be the typical YA male hero.  Yes, he is full of angst, but I feel I did go in some interesting directions with him.  I made him ruthless and determined, so he ends up killing a woman on his first day as an Enforcer and then imprisoning one of his old neighbors.  I also made him bury all of his emotional problems somewhere deep inside of him, so he often finds an outlet in meaningless sex with his female coworkers.  I say “meaningless” for lack of a better word.  Basically he isn’t looking for a relationship with them.  He is having sex for sex’s sake.  Nothing wrong with that except when you’re using the sex as an outlet for your repressed emotions maybe.

Moving forward with the story, I’d like to keep this trend going.  I want to push him even more, have Paxton join the Enforcers because a part of him accepts that he wants power and security, and they are the ones who have it.  Yes they took his father, but they also don’t have to sleep with one eye open (usually), and they live in nice flats, and they get to eat food whenever they want.  So he believes the good outweighs the bad and throws himself into the work.  Until he gets in too deep.   And, of course, learning the truth about his father is kind of that breaking point that snaps him out of it.

My goal for him is to make him exist in a gray area for a while.  He’s not going to be an undoubtedly Good character, and he will have to redeem himself for a lot of misdeeds.  Paxton is a character who feels that the world is on his shoulders and he lives very much for himself because he thinks it’s the safest way to be.  Meeting the rebel group and Joss might change that for him, give him a different cause to fight for and a reason to redeem himself.

Oh, and since his dad is already dead, I am determined not to kill his mom (spoiler alert?).  I realize why heroes lose their parents so often now that I’m plotting out this story, because it would honestly be so much easier for Paxton to run away and join the rebellion if he didn’t have familial connections to worry about.  But I think I’ve come up with another way to make it work that doesn’t involve killing his mom.  Yay.

Okay so I sorta did some concept art, which you will see below.  It’s not as detailed as Joss’ for several reasons.

  1. I am better at drawing female figures than male.
  2. Along those lines, I couldn’t find a male reference that I liked to base my drawing off of, so I had to go from scratch despite not having any formal art training, which you will soon see.  Feel free to scoff at my inability to make proportions work.  I scoff at myself all the time.  Chances are I’m doing it right now.
  3. Humans are boring.  You know what they look like.

So I just kinda decided to sketch out some of the armor ideas I had?

Paxton 1Paxton 2Paxton 3

He looks straight out of Starship Troopers, huh?  I knew I’d gotten inspiration somewhere.

So those prongs on his arm come out of the standard-issue gauntlets.  They’re electrified when active, but they fold back into the gauntlet when not in use.  At the risk of drawing a face, I decided to give him a helmet with a visor.  Clever me.  And of course he’s got big, clompy space boots.  Gotta have the big, clompy space boots.  They have secret compartments and stuff.  He also has a standard-issue MWt-500 laser gun holstered at his hip.

And this is what he would look like if he were a butterfly with a suggestively open shirt!

Paxton Butterfly

That’s all I’ve got!  Tune in next time for an actual alien!

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