Tag Archives: creative writing

Donald Trump is the Wrong Genre

There is a section of the Passover seder that has been circling around in my head called “Dayenu” or (read right to left) דַּיֵּנוּ‎. It translates to, “It would have been enough.” Part song, part call-and-response, a reader lists the miracles and wonders God enacted during the exodus from Egypt. After each item listed, the responders say, “Dayenu” to acknowledge that He had already provided, and they would have been grateful even if He had stopped there.

For example, “If He had taken us from Egypt, but not parted the Red Sea… Dayenu.”

It would have been enough.

I have a different version of Dayenu in my head for Donald Trump, a man I hope never to write about ever again after this.

What can I say about this orange-lacquered sack of fart vapor that hasn’t been said already? The man’s brain is a half-eaten pudding cup that has been left out in the sun for a week. And the most complimentary thing I can say about him is that, at one point, it’s possible his brain was a half-eaten pudding cup that hadn’t yet been left out in the sun.

But he never had a full pudding cup! I’m sure of that!

I’m confident he cannot now, nor could he ever, name the three branches of the U.S. government. I think, if someone wanted to, they could tell him the president is the “Execution Branch” of the government, and he would believe it. He’d probably like it! This just hit me as I was typing, and I feel such… resignation. He’d like the sound of being the “Executioner.” I’m certain of it.

I don’t know how to speak Hebrew, so I don’t know if “It should have been enough” can be translated accurately into one word. But that’s what it is.

In my head, it goes like this:

When he bragged about using his status as a celebrity to sexually assault women…

It should have been enough.

When he mocked a disabled reporter…

It should have been enough.

When he watched hundreds of thousands of Americans die from a highly contagious virus while spouting misinformation, inciting violence against Asians and Asian-Americans, and failing to provide necessary medical supplies and aid to doctors, nurses, and hospitals…

It should have been enough.

When he incited a riot on Capitol Hill…

It should have been enough.

When he was charged and convicted with 34 counts of felony document falsification…

It should have been enough.

When he claimed immigrants were eating people’s cats and dogs, once again blithely stirring up hatred and violence towards a vulnerable population…

It should have been enough.

When he watched a man sieg heil on stage two times at his inauguration, and did nothing…

It should have been enough.

When he began trafficking people to a torture prison in El Salvador, and did not stop when he was ordered to by the courts…

It should have been enough.

When he refused court orders to bring an innocent man back to his family…

It should have been enough.

When he, a man who has made full use of due process of the law time and time again, claimed there wasn’t time to give people due process…

It should have been enough.

When he was told that stores would soon have empty shelves due to tariffs, and responded by saying American children would have to make do with “two dolls instead of thirty”…

It should have been enough.

I could go on. And on. And on. That’s the problem, isn’t it? For all I’ve listed here, there are five hundred things I didn’t list. Children in cages at the border? Saying Kamala Harris “suddenly” became Black? Canada as the 51st state? Thinking “transgenic” mice were transgender??

I would be the proverbial monkey at the typewriter, banging on the keys to infinity, never able to stop because there would always be more. Except I’d never get around to accidentally producing Shakespeare’s plays because I’d be too busy listing crimes and atrocities.

Not to mention stupidities. Donald Trump regularly commits stupidities.

Any one of the things listed above should have been enough. It should have been more than goddamn enough!

This all came about because of a very real question I felt the need to ask my editor a few weeks ago. Before we got into the meat of our um… meeting… homophones are weird… I had to ask her for her opinion on including or excluding politics in the novel. Because Trump’s presidency, his existence, does not work for the Romance genre. And, if I’m being honest, it doesn’t work for reality.

If you met someone who woke up from a ten-year coma today, and listed every major point of Trump’s political career from start to finish, I bet you wouldn’t actually get to finish. I bet they’d stop you pretty quickly. You wouldn’t even be able to get to D.O.G.E. But if you did, that’s where they’d stop you for sure.

“Enough!” they’d yell. “You’re making this up. It doesn’t even sound like good fiction. It sounds like a poor attempt at parody.”

“You’re right, learned ex-coma-patient,” you would respond. “It does sound like the worst kind of parody. Now let’s get you back to bed. I probably should’ve taken your vitals before trying to catch you up on what you missed.” (You are a medical professional in this scenario.)

I mean… can you imagine what would happen if I acknowledged our current reality in the fiction I constructed? It occurred to me that the moment a character brings up Donald Trump, that would be the moment when the book becomes exclusively about Donald Trump. How could they ever talk about anything else?

So I got permission from my editor to not bring up politics. Not anchor the book in any given time period. Not mention who is president. Just not. Full stop.

Because our current president belongs in parody. In farce. In heavy-handed satire.

Like… imagine if you were watching Wall-E, and, instead of the late Fred Willard as the live-action president, you saw Donald Trump. Would you even blink? It feels like he fits there, doesn’t it? It’s so terrifying and sad and ludicrous. It’s… terrsadicrous.

I just needed to get that off my chest. I am so excited to be published and to continue going through this process, but I also feel deeply, tragically, lost. I needed to get the sadness out of me. Now I intend to focus, as much as I can, on the happy. It feels wrong to do that, I’ll admit. I feel a kind of survivor’s guilt maybe? I am (relatively) safe. I am (relatively) secure. So many others aren’t. At time of writing, Kilmar Abrego Garcia still isn’t home with his family. How dare I celebrate at a time like this? But I must. I simply must. It won’t stop me from hurting for all the people who are not safe and secure, but I feel I will truly lose my mind if I can’t also allow myself happiness.

It should have been enough, and enough, and enough. A thousand times over, it should have been enough.

Here’s an art I did of the orange fartsicle:

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Am I Being Right or Stubborn: A Guide for Writers

I got my editorial letter! This is the second editorial letter I have received in my life, but I don’t remember if I talked about it or explained it back when Hellbound was almost close to almost being considered for publication. That version of events is too depressing to talk about anyway, so I thought I’d do a post about editorial letters that is positive and happy! But then I remembered John Green already did a great explanation of editorial letters about thirteen years ago on his YouTube channel.

(Speaking of YouTube, I have released two new videos since my last post.)

Everyone can help me thank John Green for saving me time by watching this video (don’t worry it’s short):

That being said, I wanted to explain the editorial process in broad terms real quick. You see, editing a book is an upside-down pyramid. It starts with broad strokes, big sweeping changes, and generalized feedback. Then it moves on (when your editor is satisfied that it can move on) to narrower, more focused changes.

A lot of people imagine book editing as the editor getting out their red pen (or writing utensil of choice) and marking up the manuscript. But you can’t do that for the first edit because the markup would literally coat the text of the book itself. This would inevitably lead to a mental breakdown on the part of the author, and while we authors are quite familiar with the art of the mental breakdown, healthcare professionals do discourage having more than two or three a year. It takes a while to get down to the nitty-gritty of line edits down there at the point of the pyramid.

What’s really exciting for me is that I am only familiar with the top sections of the pyramid! I can’t express how much I am looking forward to discovering parts of the publishing process that I have not been through before. The thrill of the unknown! I just know that this thing is going to start feeling 1,000% more real once we start talking cover design, and I’ll be sure to update when I can so that you, dear reader, can follow along with me.

What I want to touch on real quick is an issue I’ve run into regarding the plot of my book. Falling for the Protagonist is a satirical novel, and therefore I felt that there was a certain amount of leeway I had vis-a-vis “explaining” the supernatural elements. In my mind, because it was satire, part of the point was that the magical stuff and the [REDADCTED TO AVOID SPOILERS] were not practically explained or reasonable at all. For me, that was funny. It fit the theme of the book, which is that romance novels typically bend over backwards to accomodate their happy and just worlds. The previous statement is not said with any kind of censure on my part; I read romance novels because they provide the comforting certainty of a happy and just ending.

But then literary agents started rejecting the manuscript because “there wasn’t enough explanation” of how/why the supernatural stuff happened. At first, I scoffed in an authoritative and haughty way. (I didn’t want you to miss that great pun back there, so I went ahead and emphasized it for you. You’re welcome!)

I changed my tune recently, however, when my lovely editor mentioned that we needed to work on better explaining the “rules,” and I was finally confronted with the fact that maybe it was time to kill my darling. In this case, I had to accept that what I thought of as a perfectly acceptable and on-brand element of the novel was clearly not hitting right when other people read it. A good rule of thumb: If some part of your vision isn’t translating well to readers (Even if it makes perfect sense to you!), it shouldn’t make it to the final draft.

The problem many writers run into when encountering other people’s suggestions is that it’s sometimes hard to know when to stand your ground, and when to accept that you need to make changes. Sometimes you get a lot of feedback, and some of it is contradictory. Which do you listen to, if any? If you push back, are you doing so because you are confident in your writing and your concept? Or are you accidentally (or purposefully; no judgement) being a stubborn artiste who refuses to back down?

As with all things creative, there is no single right answer. It’s one of the most frustrating things about being creative sometimes. Other times, it’s a gift. (For example, the fact that good art can be achieved in any number of different ways is freeing for those who want to explore unusual or unexpected artistic avenues.) For me, I have recently discovered that I should probably sit up and pay attention when multiple professionals in the industry are saying the same thing. It’s hard to keep claiming I’m in the right when literally no one agrees with me. Not even my inner goddess!

I typically go through some variation of the stages of grief when I have to change something that I was willing to defend for so long, but I have trained myself to get to the Acceptance stage pretty quickly.

In short (too late, I know), you don’t have to listen to everyone’s opinion, but if you get the same advice consistently from people with the credentials to back it up, it may be time to throw in the towel.

I will conclude on an optimistic note, which is unusual for me, but apt in this moment. If you are an aspiring writer, I want you to remember this: Many literary agents rejected my book because of this issue. They didn’t see the manuscript as worth representing because they couldn’t get past this obstacle. I sure did get discouraged! Looking back on it, I’m glad those rejections happened. Because the agent who decided that this plot issue wasn’t a deal-breaker for her is clearly the person I was meant to be working with. Same goes for my editor. My manuscript wound its way through the agencies and publishing companies until it found the right people for its needs. A lot of boilerplate rejections contain language along the lines of “it wasn’t a good fit.” It’s a trite phrase, but I’d like you to consider that it is also 100% truthful. You do not want someone representing you and your work if they didn’t feel that “click” when they read your manuscript.

And, yes, I have been finding ways to work “I have an agent and/or editor” into everyday conversation as much as possible. I imagine I’ve become absolutely insufferable, but I just can’t help myself.

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My Twenty-Year Journey

Almost exactly twenty years ago, when I was thirteen years old and finishing up middle school, I wrote my first “book.” I put it in scare quotes because I’m sure the word count didn’t even approach 50,000, and also it was a book written by a sheltered thirteen-year-old horse girl with self-esteem issues. So it was by no means a good book. BUT it was the start of me wanting to write. I caught the bug, so to speak.

Incidentally, when I was teaching, I let my creative writing students read the first page of my thirteen-year-old self’s book and then roast me. You know, as a team-building exercise.

I don’t believe in fate or any kind of higher power. Or… I tell myself I don’t. But the fact that it’s been almost exactly twenty years… and I got this fortune out of a fortune cookie right after I started querying Falling for the Protagonist that said “Quiet faith will bring you boundless rewards soon”… Folks, I think my brain really wants to believe in fate.

Anyway, I have a literary agent now. And, folks (again), the impostor syndrome hit immediately. I didn’t even have a chance to let a single happy tear flow gently and poignantly down my cheek before my brain went numb with fear. It was a mental paralysis unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. What if I never wrote another book? What if I wasn’t as good at this as I thought? After all, I’d written many books in the past, and only two of them have been good so far. That’s not exactly a confidence-bolstering number.

A very frazzled mini Bex yelling "I forgot the alphabet! How many R's in hurricane? What even IS a book??"

I’m not saying this to earn what I can only call congratulatory pity, where you’re both patting my back exuberantly and also murmuring, “You poor dear,” at the same time. I just want to be as honest as possible about my experience. I also caught the teaching bug a long time ago, so I’ve always wanted this blog to be at least somewhat instructive and informative in nature.

Two bugs introducing themselves to each other as the writing bug and teaching bug respectively.
(yes I know “bug” in this idiom refers to a germ or sickness, but that’s not fun to draw)

Fortunately, the happy did eventually make an appearance. And boy is it cool. This is just so cool, guys. I started this blog when I was nineteen years old (still somewhat sheltered and at least partially a horse girl), and my writing journey has been fraught with twists and turns. Though I started writing twenty years ago, I didn’t start thinking seriously about getting published until I was around sixteen. Still, that’s a long time to be trying without success. So in that other post when I said, “Hang therein“, I meant it! This industry is fickle and stressful, but there is no time limit on success.

So how did this happen? I queried over 40 agents, and as I said in the above linked Hang Therein post, the rejections started coming in. This is Normal and Expected, but of course it hurts! Especially since I believed in the idea with all of my Disney-Loving, Happily-Ever-After-Craving heart! But THEN one day in February, my younger son woke me up at like 5:30AM, and as I was doing the sleepy zombie shuffle downstairs to make him a snack, I checked my phone.

Kate Rizzo of the Greene & Heaton agency in London had requested the full manuscript. I was so sleepy that I genuinely had an experience that I’d previously thought only existed in fiction: I questioned if I was dreaming. To be fair, I had had dreams in the past where I’d gotten good news from an agent. (Waking up from those dreams sucks by the way.)

The last time I had an agent, it was because I had interned for her, and I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with ADHD. So when she offered me representation, I said yes immediately (Thanks, impulsivity) even though I didn’t think we’d be a good fit. I had no idea that I could tell her I’d think about it, query other agencies, etc. I do not mean to badmouth my previous agent! I am so grateful to her for giving me and Hellbound a chance, for believing in what we could do, and for doing the best job she could for the book. But we weren’t a good fit. It’s okay to admit to yourself that an agent doesn’t feel like a good fit to you.

Anyway! Kate had requested the full manuscript. This is something not every writer knows, so I will say it plainly: A full request is good news because you are potentially one step closer to the goal, but it is not a guarantee of representation. An agent can and will reject a full MS if they read through it and decide the book isn’t for them after all. Typically, if this rejection happens, you will get more than the boilerplate email template rejection. The agent will give you a critique or summary of their reasoning for rejection.

Anyway, it is very hard to be extremely happy while simultaneously preparing yourself for rejection. Especially when rejections from other agents are still rolling in. I started to ask myself, “What are the chances that all these other people are saying no, but this one person is going to say yes?” (Spoiler Alert: The chances are pretty good. Because, as far as I can tell, that’s often how finding representation works; in a sea of disinterested fish, you find that one fish who is interested.)

I managed to handle the wait, but I don’t think it was easy to live with me at the time.

You already know how this story ends, so I won’t drag it out. Kate read the book, we chatted, she offered me representation, I took some time to think about it (Take that, ADHD!), and then we chatted again. It was during chat number 2 when I accepted representation.

And now I have a literary agent 20 years after I wrote The Dreamcatchers Dream Walkers.

I swear I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I also have to point out that having representation is not a guarantee of publication. The entire publishing process is a rejection factory.

A factory pumping out the word "NO" over and over again on a conveyor belt.

I understand this well, especially after my journey with Hellbound, and I’m only pointing this out because I don’t want anyone out there to be like, “Congrats on getting published!” I’m not published yet, but I’m certainly not trying to bring the mood down by pointing that out. The mood is great. The mood is moodtastic. Because, regardless of eventual publication (or lack thereof), it is so exciting and wonderful to have someone believe in you and your work. And, hey, if not this book, Kate and I can try another one! I’m looking forward to documenting my progress through this blog. I’m glad I impulsively decided (Hm… okay, you win this one, ADHD) to start it back up even though no one blogs anymore. I like having a record of where I’ve been and what I’m doing writing-wise.

If you’ve read this far, thanks! Wish me luck!

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