Tag Archives: web comic

How I’m Procrastinating

A little while back, I came to the inevitable conclusion that I can’t put off editing Grotesque any longer.  It’s been years since I took a real look at it.  Aside from Hellbound, Grotesque is the only decent book I’ve ever written.  And judging by how difficult it’s been to get editors to pay attention to Hellbound, it is becoming increasingly apparent that I am going to need a Plan B.  This isn’t surprising.  It just means that I’m in for a lot of hard work.

The problem is that when I am faced with hard work, I like to retreat into my little Bubble of Happiness where there are Disney movies and warm blankets and Skittles.  The Bubble protects me from all my adult responsibilities.

Happy Bubble

I am really good at procrastinating.

For instance…I’m writing this blog post right now.  That does not count as editing.  Also I drew that picture of the Bubble of Happiness.

And have you heard of Netflix??  It should be called Procrastination…flix.

So I’m having a rough time of it.  But…I have done a little.  It’s not enough, but it’s a start.

The reason I’m saying any of this is…well…some other projects are going to have to be put on hold.  No more of my chapter updates for that other book I was writing.  Although I have some good ideas for it.  I’m still going on with the Support Hellbound Initiative, of course.  The more support I can gather, the better.  It’s never too late to join in!

But for now I must buckle down.  I must.

I must….

I wonder what’s on Netflix?

Hey look I drew a comic!

Writer's-Block-Strip-43

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Chapter Four

Chugging right along.  Here are the links for those who need to catch up:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Annnd noooooow…

Chapter-Four

“Do you know where your husband is tonight?”

“Hm?” Paxton’s mother wiped sleepily at her face as she tried to think. “He’s…well he’s at work. He works every night.”

Paxton cowered in the corner. He wasn’t sure his mother knew he was there. She’d put him to bed hours ago, but he’d woken up and snuck out when he heard the banging on the door.

“Your husband’s workplace has been searched. He is not present. You do know the penalty for missing work, don’t you?”

“No…I mean yes I do, but…but please understand…he’s got to be there.” Her voice started to get higher, her speech faster. “My husband…he would never. He wouldn’t do something like that. We have a son to think of.”

“He is not at work and he is not at home. We have no other facts to consider. If your husband returns home tonight, your first action will be to call us. If you fail to do so, well…” The large man in the scary armor paused and turned to stare right into Paxton’s eyes. “There are penalties for that as well.”

Paxton’s mother followed the Enforcer’s gaze and saw her son crouching in the corner. She burst into tears, much to Paxton’s confusion. He couldn’t understand it. Had they hurt her? He only ever cried like that when he fell down.

“Please! I’m sure there’s an explanation!”

“Call us the moment you hear from him.”

They turned and left.

Paxton’s father did not come back that night. Or the next day. Paxton had no idea how to make his mother feel better. She stared out the window most of the day, jumping up and running to the door every time she heard a noise.

He tried everything he could think of – games of hide-and-seek, sitting in her lap, asking her to tell him a story – but nothing seemed to work.

On the third day of this, there was a knock at the door. Both Paxton and his mother ran to answer it.

Nobody was standing outside, but there was a package on their front step.

Paxton’s mother opened it. On top of the packing material was a work schedule with a note that said she would be expected to begin at the factory that very night. She set the papers aside and Paxton watched as she dug beneath the crumpled packaging. Her eyes filled with tears as she drew a hand out of the box. The bloodied stump of a wrist was still dripping. An old, dirty wedding band clung to the ring finger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so…that was fun, huh?  Chapter Five tomorrow.  And guess what?  I’m back to occasionally drawing comics!  Here’s one for you now!

Writer's-Block-Strip-42

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The Horrors of Anthropomorphic Food

Just a quick reminder that I created an Etsy shop and it is well stocked.  I added some new stuff, including two pairs of earrings.  Click back to the previous post to read all about it or just click here to have my shop open in a new tab.  I don’t have a lot of ways to advertise, so even if you don’t buy anything, if you could share the link around it’d be much appreciated [EDIT 12/31/14: I closed my Etsy shop because I’m a quitter.  Sorry].

On to the post, which has nothing to do with writing.  I just want to get something off my chest:

Selling food in commercials by anthropomorphizing that food is horrific!  Please stop!

There are three offenders I want to talk about today, though I’m sure there are more that I should include.  Think I’ve forgotten an important one?  Let me know in the comments.

1. M&Ms

The thing I hate about anthropomorphized food is that we’ve taken something we eat and given it the chance to either scream and fight back or smile pleasantly, as if ignorant of its obvious fate.  M&Ms fall into the former category.  Commercial after commercial has presented our two male protagonists – Red and Yellow – finding themselves in various situations where they are about to be eaten alive.  And we are supposed to find this funny.

M&Ms

In this image I took from a recent commercial, the female, brown M&M is at a party.  She learns there is a woman there – Kristin – whom she should “steer clear of” because “she can’t control herself around chocolate.”  This goes from bad to worse when it cuts to Brown setting Red up with this woman.  The commercial ends with the woman – Kristin – dragging Red outside.  Red even comments “Oo strong grip.  OW!”

So let’s break it down: One living chocolate is casually told to avoid a person at a party because that person will straight up murder her with her teeth.  Then, knowing this, the brown chocolate arranges for the murder of the red chocolate.  There’s no other way to see this.  We are supposed to laugh as the red M&M is dragged to his slow and painful death.

I could go on to talk about how the two female M&Ms – Green and Brown – are portrayed as sex objects, but I honestly don’t even want to touch that one.  Let’s just move on.

2. Frosted Mini Wheats

Frosted Mini Wheats’ mascot used to be a two-faced, M&Ms-esque cartoon.  I tried to find a picture or an old commercial on Google and YouTube respectively, but could not.  So we’ll just move on.  The current Frosted Mini Wheats commercials have taken on a new advertising tactic – make the cereal pieces seem like little smart-making shoulder angels for children.  I guess some scientist found somewhere that eating a food consisting entirely of stuff your body can’t process or take nutrients from – pure fiber and sugar – was  a surefire way to help kids concentrate and learn.  And how do they convey this?  With adorable little cereal squares that have smiling faces, legs, arms…

Frosted Mini Wheats

…and a total acceptance of the fact that they are going to die very soon.  Here you can see them lounging in a hot bowl of milk.  The blue one and the pink one actually start off outside the bowl and they choose to get in with the others rather than run for their lives.  What the advertisers want you to think is: Oh, that cereal would taste good with warm milk.  What you should think is: Oh, all those cereal pieces are perfectly happy to be eaten alive.  But nothing, absolutely nothing, can compare with this:

3. Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Just look at this picture here.  But be prepared to lose your appetite.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Yep.  Cinnamon Toast Crunch decided to take this to a whole new level.  Not only do their cereal pieces have faces and limbs, but they actively cannibalize each other.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch 2

Cinnamon toast crunch 3

See?  They eat each other.  They friggin eat each other!!!  How is that okay?  How does anyone see this and think, “Hmm…I see.  The cereal is so delicious that it can’t even resist eating itself.  I fully intend to buy a box, and I hope I only find one piece inside of it, having just finished polishing off its brethren.  And then after I eat that one piece, I’m going to murder some hydrangeas.”

I will end as I started: Please stop!

Word of the Day: Anthropomorphic (adj) – ascribing human form or attributes to a being or thing not human, especially to a deity.

Oh my!  What is this?  That’s right it’s a comic!

Writer's-Block-Strip-39

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