Tag Archives: 50 Shades of Grey

A Simple Little Flow Chart

I was thinking a lot recently about cliches and how hard it is to avoid them.  Romantic cliches are particularly tricky.  In order to illustrate this, I decided to create a nice, little flow chart that explores some (but not all) of the common romantic plot lines that can be found in books and movies.

You’re gonna want to click on that image to make it bigger, obviously.  Don’t worry — it’ll open in a new tab.  You should also be able to click on it once it’s open in a new tab to zoom it in even more.  I think you’ll be happier with it then.  Have fun!

Boy-Meets-Girl-Flowchart

Please note the disclaimer in red in the lower left corner.  I just couldn’t cover everything.  This process was exhausting enough as it was.  Hell, the computerized version wasn’t even my first draft.  I did it all on paper first.

See?

I threw my ruler on there for a size reference.  I had no banana for scale.  (Very few people are going to get that reference, I fear)

I threw my ruler on there for a size reference. I had no banana for scale. (Very few people are going to get that reference, I fear)

But the reason I did this was to show you that avoiding cliches is hard, and you shouldn’t be expected to do it perfectly.  That’s why I talk about taking a cliche and making it your own.  At this point there aren’t many more options.  You’ll note I didn’t really have examples for the “They’re both gay” storyline.  That could use some exploring.  And, of course, my own novels — Hellbound, Grotesque, and The Dreamcatchers — can be found in there.  Because I am not above these cliches at all.  I just try to make them as fresh as possible.  You will also note that many titles appeared multiple times.  That just serves to further illustrate how complicated something as seemingly simple as a relationship between two people can get.  It might also help you to develop some ideas for your own characters and stories, I hope.  Try exploring multiple story arcs at once, or turning a cliche on its head.

Also I did not include the following story line for what I hope are obvious reasons.

Boy and Girl Meet —-> They do not develop a relationship —-> They never see each other again

In a story, if you bring up two people meeting, it has to be relevant somehow.  So….yeah.

I want to talk a little bit about the art of criticism next, so that’ll be coming up.

Ta ta for now!

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Filed under books, Humor, writing

Short Update, Long Rant

I’ve got a good chunk of signatures going for all who are wondering.  I have not yet put them up in any type of display which is why I don’t have pictures.  But obviously this kind of thing is in the “more the merrier” type category.  Meaning write in!  Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Click here.  Do know what I’m talking about?  You can still write in to WriteRightWithBex@gmail.com.  I’m working on figuring out a way to incorporate an electronic signing system.  I think many people are wary of giving out their addresses despite my incredibly reassuring disclaimer.  Remember, I’m a twenty-something blogger who is interested only in signed business cards.  I’m not going to sell your information, and you’re not going to start getting daily newsletters in the mail from me about the newest sales at Macy’s.

Now that that’s out of the way, we are going to have a little (read: super long) post for those who have missed Ranty Bex.

So the story goes like this.  My fiance and I went to the movies to see the newest Woody Allen flick for lack of anything better to see.  It was alright…not that great.  As we walked out of the movie theater, I caught a glimpse of a poster.  I have Googled it for you (Incognito window…don’t want Google thinking I’m actually interested in this thing).  Here is a picture:

HNNGNGNG

Yup.  That’s what I saw.  And honestly it took me a second to figure out what it was, but something in my brain was desperately shying away from it even as I came to the inevitable, terrifying conclusion.

They made 50 Shades of Grey into a movie.

They actually did it.

Now…some may think they know why I have a problem with this, but I think some are only partly right.

I have written about this before, but I will reiterate: You can read and enjoy trashy novels.  I have.  I still do occasionally.  They’re fun.  This is not what bothers me.  See what bothers me is that 50 Shades was never a novel.  It. Was. A. FANFICTION!!!  For whatever reason, either because E. L. James found a spectacularly good lawyer or because Stephenie Meyer isn’t particularly litigious, a Twilight FanFiction got published and started making money.

THIS IS ILLEGAL!!

The only reason people get away with writing their own stories using other people’s characters, settings, worlds, etc. is that they do not make money from it.  Because when you do make money from it, that means you are making money from plagiarizing!  From stealing!  E. L. James is a thief and everyone is letting her get away with it.  Which brings me to point #2…

This was not a secret!!  Everybody knows this started as a Fan Fiction (No I don’t know why I’m capitalizing it.  Just looks better this way).  Even people who know nothing about this book know that it was a Fan Fic.  Seriously.  Despite E. L. James desperately sweeping the internet, trying to take it down.  Which screams guilt right there.  She or someone who works for her knows exactly what she did.  What she got away with.  With enough Googling you can still find the old story.  I’ve read some of it.  I have seen the exact same words that I first saw on the pages of 50 Shades on some website somewhere.  Only there was one difference.  The names Christian and Anastasia had mysteriously disappeared.  Now there was nothing but “Edward” and “Bella.”  Whoever they are.

Okay, so if you’ve read this far, you get my point.  But there is one more tiny thing I want to bring up.

It's-Porn

Yeah.  There’s no going around that.  This book started as a Fan Fiction written by a woman who wanted to see Edward and Bella get kinky.  And that’s exactly what happened.  Granted it’s a very poor representation of how BDSM actually works.  Can’t say that enough.  But it’s still just pages and pages of build up to, and then the enactment of, sex and kink.  It is a pornographic novel.  It was written to be pornographic.  And it should, as such, be rated NC-17 at the very least.  BUT!!

But….

IT’S COMING OUT ON VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!

They want people to take dates to see this movie!!

“Hey, honey, remember that book I couldn’t stop masturbating to?”

“Yeah…You called me Christian in bed for like a week…”

“Yeah!  They made a movie out of it!  Let’s go see it on Valentine’s Day!”

“……”

Seriously!!  Look at the poster!  This is what they want!

TL;DR:

50 Shades of Grey is a Fan Fiction that got published (illegal) and it’s now being made into a movie (even more illegal) which is (presumably) not a porno (not true to source material) and they want people to see it on Valentine’s Day!

So yeah…I’m royally pissed.  I’m trying to get my original work published, but I can’t.  Because we need to leave room on the shelf for 50 Shades of Grey.

Which leads me back to: Please join the Support Hellbound Initiative!  It is not the most original book in the world but I am 100% confident it is better than 50 Shades of Grey.

The End!

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Filed under Animation, books, Humor, Movies

A Note about “Trashy” Novels

Yeah, I know I said I was going to do another post about all the books that are meaningful to me, but that’s not going to happen.  Let’s face it, I’ve got a “Books I Recommend” page that includes all the books that I found most meaningful, and it would be too difficult to decide on only a few to talk about.

So, on to a topic that I’ve explored before.

50 Shades of Grey
I was talking with a fellow server at IHOP when she asked me if I watched the Vampire Diaries TV show.  I told her I did not since I am a big fan of the books (Or I was; I kind of grew bored of the series after a while) and the show basically did the same thing as the Ella Enchanted and Percy Jackson movies and True Blood – they kept the names the same and based the plot on the blurb on the back cover.  I mean…Vampire Diaries didn’t even keep all the names the same.  They changed Aunt Judith to Aunt Jenna and turned Elena’s four-year-old sister into a teenage brother with a drug problem.  So…yeah.
Anyway, when she found out I was a book person, my fellow server asked me if I had read 50 Shades of Grey.  I told her I’d tried to (and I blogged about my experience with it not once, but twice).  She then expressed genuine surprise at the fact that I was not captivated by the yarn that E. L. James spun.  I began to cite my reasons – namely the lack of pacing, the fact that it’s just fan fiction, the overuse of the “inner goddess” and “subconscious,” and, of course, the fact that she was using the concept of the “subconscious” incorrectly.  My colleague rebutted with “Yeah, but who cares?” and “No, haven’t you ever looked at a guy and thought, ‘Oh, he has a great ass,’ or something like that?”  I couldn’t make her understand that “subconscious” does not mean “things that are thought in private without being spoken out loud.”  And all this leads me to a few things that I’d like to point out.  Because that conversation made me angry.  Really angry.
Bex Smash
But I fear that some might misinterpret the direction of my righteous fury, so I wanted to set a few things straight.
1. I have no right (nor does anyone) to tell people what they can and can’t enjoy reading.  I myself enjoyed reading the first Twilight book, before I delved too deeply below the surface.  If people like Twilight and 50 Shades, I can’t stop them.  That’s not my place, and I couldn’t if I wanted to.  What I do hate, and I’ve said this before I think, is fanaticism.  When you throw yourself so wholly into something that you won’t even listen to an opposing opinion – or worse, opposing opinions make you angry – that’s when we have a problem.  For example, I have a lot of Taylor Swift’s music.  I think it’s catchy.  Yet I still loved the post my best friend wrote about her, and if Taylor Swift were on trial for murder, I would not volunteer to act as a witness in her defense.  I don’t know the girl.  I accept that I like her music without showing loyalty to her as a person.  If someone else doesn’t like her music, I don’t punch them.
2. I have no problem with people reading any novels that fall under the following categories: Romance, Beach Read, Chick Lit, Trashy, Girl Porn, etc.  I myself write books that Barnes & Noble would call “Teen Paranormal Romance.”  And I have read a dozen books by Romance author, Sherrilyn Kenyon, whose male protagonist in one of the books undresses himself twice before having sex.  A different male protagonist – a native Spanish speaker – in one of the other books in the series spoke incorrect Spanish.  “Lo qué son?” he asked, which means roughly “What are they it?”  (It should have been “¿Qué son?”)  The point I’m trying to make here is that you can read and enjoy whatever books you want, and they don’t all have to be Pullitzer-worthy.  What I really want is for people to be able to distinguish between these books and original works of literary genius.  Can there be a romance novel that is a well-written work with depth?  Absolutely!  Are all books created equal?  Nope.  Call me a book racist, but I believe many books are better than others, and I would like other people to acknowledge that, too.
3. Am I a hypocrite?  Earlier I talked about how I dislike fanaticism, blind adoration, and the like.  But I fanatically hate 50 Shades right?  I wrote a ridiculously subjective list of objective reasons why Twilight is bad.  So doesn’t that mean I’m a fanatic?  Maybe.  But let me tell you something:  If you came up to me and said “I enjoyed reading Twilight because…” and inserted a reason or two, I’d listen to you.  I might debate with you.  I like debating.  That doesn’t mean I’ll hate you for your reasons, or think your reasons are invalid.  And, yes, that only makes me slightly better than the fanatics I have decried here today, but it’s something.
4. Most importantly, if people want to read about BDSM then I want them to read it from a book that isn’t going to give them the wrong impression about it.  When I called Christian Grey abusive, my coworker said “NO!  He’s dominant and she’s submissive!  That’s how it works!”  And that’s when I nearly Hulked out.  Because no, that’s not how it works.  When people think of abusive relationships, I think they often miss the fact that abuse doesn’t have to be physical.  Let me run you through a little scenario to explain what I mean.  Keep in mind both Edward Cullen and Christian Grey here, okay?  They’re the same person anyway.
Say you have a daughter.  If you already have a daughter, you are a step ahead.  Congrats.  Say your daughter is sixteen and she comes home one day to tell you that she has a new boyfriend.  You learn quickly that your daughter’s boyfriend…
– Snuck into her room to watch her sleep for months before they started dating.
– Displayed a great deal of jealousy and anger toward all your daughter’s other male friends.
– Made decisions for your daughter, sometimes going as far as breaking her car in order to stop her from seeing a male friend AND/OR deciding he doesn’t like the car she’s driving, so buys her a new one and makes her drive that one instead.
– And finally, last but not least, he told your daughter that he is very, very tempted to kill her.
What would you say to your daughter at that point?  Would you tell her she should love him more for resisting that urge to kill her?  That his not murdering her so far is a point in his favor?  Or would you tell her she couldn’t see this boy anymore?
Okay.  That’s what’s wrong with the relationship in 50 Shades (and Twilight).  Setting aside the fact that Christian goes about initiating a Dom/Sub relationship completely and utterly wrong, he is also a manipulative, controlling, emotionally abusive man.
So, in conclusion, do books like Twilight and 50 Shades make me angry?  Absolutely.  Because I want people to expect more out of the books they read, and to hold authors up to a higher standard.  Do I hate people who enjoy the books?  No.  It just frustrates me and makes me kind of sad, but their lives are theirs.
That’s all.  If you’ve read this far, thank you.  I have an idea for a comic but I haven’t drawn it yet.  Next time!  I promise.
Word of the Day: Decry (v) – To speak disparagingly of; denounce as faulty or worthless; express censure of.

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