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April 25, 2024 · 1:07 PM

My Twenty-Year Journey

Almost exactly twenty years ago, when I was thirteen years old and finishing up middle school, I wrote my first “book.” I put it in scare quotes because I’m sure the word count didn’t even approach 50,000, and also it was a book written by a sheltered thirteen-year-old horse girl with self-esteem issues. So it was by no means a good book. BUT it was the start of me wanting to write. I caught the bug, so to speak.

Incidentally, when I was teaching, I let my creative writing students read the first page of my thirteen-year-old self’s book and then roast me. You know, as a team-building exercise.

I don’t believe in fate or any kind of higher power. Or… I tell myself I don’t. But the fact that it’s been almost exactly twenty years… and I got this fortune out of a fortune cookie right after I started querying Falling for the Protagonist that said “Quiet faith will bring you boundless rewards soon”… Folks, I think my brain really wants to believe in fate.

Anyway, I have a literary agent now. And, folks (again), the impostor syndrome hit immediately. I didn’t even have a chance to let a single happy tear flow gently and poignantly down my cheek before my brain went numb with fear. It was a mental paralysis unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. What if I never wrote another book? What if I wasn’t as good at this as I thought? After all, I’d written many books in the past, and only two of them have been good so far. That’s not exactly a confidence-bolstering number.

A very frazzled mini Bex yelling "I forgot the alphabet! How many R's in hurricane? What even IS a book??"

I’m not saying this to earn what I can only call congratulatory pity, where you’re both patting my back and also going, “You poor dear,” at the same time. I just want to be as honest as possible about my experience. I also caught the teaching bug a long time ago, so I’ve always wanted this blog to be at least somewhat instructive and informative in nature.

Two bugs introducing themselves to each other as the writing bug and teaching bug respectively.
(yes I know “bug” in this idiom refers to a germ or sickness, but that’s not fun to draw)

Fortunately, the happy did eventually make an appearance. And boy is it cool. This is just so cool, guys. I started this blog when I was nineteen years old (still somewhat sheltered and at least partially a horse girl), and my writing journey has been fraught with twists and turns. Though I started writing twenty years ago, I didn’t start thinking seriously about getting published until I was around sixteen. Still, that’s a long time to be trying without success. So in that other post when I said, “Hang therein“, I meant it! This industry is fickle and stressful, but there is no time limit on success.

So how did this happen? I queried over 40 agents, and as I said in the above linked Hang Therein post, the rejections started coming in. This is Normal and Expected, but of course it hurts! Especially since I believed in the idea with all of my Disney-Loving, Happily-Ever-After-Craving heart! But THEN one day in February, my younger son woke me up at like 5:30AM, and as I was doing the sleepy zombie shuffle downstairs to make him a snack, I checked my phone.

Kate Rizzo of the Greene & Heaton agency in London had requested the full manuscript. I was so sleepy that I genuinely had an experience that I’d previously thought only existed in fiction: I questioned if I was dreaming. To be fair, I had had dreams in the past where I’d gotten good news from an agent. (Waking up from those dreams sucks by the way.)

The last time I had an agent, it was because I had interned for her, and I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with ADHD. So when she offered me representation, I said yes immediately (Thanks, impulsivity) even though I didn’t think we’d be a good fit. I had no idea that I could tell her I’d think about it, query other agencies, etc. I do not mean to badmouth my previous agent! I am so grateful to her for giving me and Hellbound a chance, for believing in what we could do, and for doing the best job she could for the book. But we weren’t a good fit. It’s okay to admit to yourself that an agent doesn’t feel like a good fit to you.

Anyway! Kate had requested the full manuscript. This is something not every writer knows, so I will say it plainly: A full request is good news because you are potentially one step closer to the goal, but it is not a guarantee of representation. An agent can and will reject a full MS if they read through it and decide the book isn’t for them after all. Typically, if this rejection happens, you will get more than the boilerplate email template rejection. The agent will give you a critique or summary of their reasoning for rejection.

Anyway, it is very hard to be extremely happy while simultaneously preparing yourself for rejection. Especially when rejections from other agents are still rolling in. I started to ask myself, “What are the chances that all these other people are saying no, but this one person is going to say yes?” (Spoiler Alert: The chances are pretty good. Because, as far as I can tell, that’s often how finding representation works; in a sea of disinterested fish, you find that one fish who is interested.)

I managed to handle the wait, but I don’t think it was easy to live with me at the time.

You already know how this story ends, so I won’t drag it out. Kate read the book, we chatted, she offered me representation, I took some time to think about it (Take that, ADHD!), and then we chatted again. It was during chat number 2 when I accepted representation.

And now I have a literary agent 20 years after I wrote The Dreamcatchers Dream Walkers.

I swear I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I also have to point out that having representation is not a guarantee of publication. The entire publishing process is a rejection factory.

A factory pumping out the word "NO" over and over again on a conveyor belt.

I understand this well, especially after my journey with Hellbound, and I’m only pointing this out because I don’t want anyone out there to be like, “Congrats on getting published!” I’m not published yet, but I’m certainly not trying to bring the mood down by pointing that out. The mood is great. The mood is moodtastic. Because, regardless of eventual publication (or lack thereof), it is so exciting and wonderful to have someone believe in you and your work. And, hey, if not this book, Kate and I can try another one! I’m looking forward to documenting my progress through this blog. I’m glad I impulsively decided (Hm… okay, you win this one, ADHD) to start it back up even though no one blogs anymore. I like having a record of where I’ve been and what I’m doing writing-wise.

If you’ve read this far, thanks! Wish me luck!

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February 16, 2012 · 9:22 PM

I Solutioned the Problem!

I don’t know why I chose to make up a word for this post’s title.  I guess it’s just because I’m so excited that I thought of a temporary solution to my horrible problem.  In case you can’t figure out what my problem is, I’ll tell you.  My problem is that I can’t draw pretty pictures to put on my blog with my tablet right now because my computer exploded.  And I thought it would be such a long time before I’d be able to get Photoshop Elements up and running again and all of my posts were going to have to be boring blocks of text and everyone would hate me and then the world would explode!  But luckily for you all, I’ve figured out a way to save the world!  Because I remembered this ancient technology that was widely used before computers.  It’s called Paper!  And I found some paper and a marker pen!  And a camera!  And then I drew a picture on the paper and I took a picture of it with my camera and now I can put it on my blog for you to see!

Yes it’s lined paper because I was too lazy to go downstairs and find my sketchbook, and this tiny notebook was all I found.  Also I only have a black sharpie and a blue pen, so there’s not really much I can draw in the way of color…

But it’s still a pretty good solution for the time being, yeah?  I’m pretty proud of myself.  Now you won’t have to stare at walls of text all the time.

Since I’m writing a new post, I figure I might as well say something about writing, since that’s what this blog is all about.  For the record, I do remember that I was listing my favorite authors, and I’m not going to stop doing that.  I still want to write about Melissa Marr, and maybe a few others, but I don’t feel like doing that right now.

See, today while I was on the bus, I got to thinking…

And that’s not such a bad idea, because I think it’s important to spell out my reasons for doing what I do.  It might help…save the world or something.  I’m not sure.  But it feels like a good idea so I’m going to do it!

ONE: It’s fun.  This seems pretty self-explanatory, but hey, I’ll elaborate a bit anyway.  You know all those things I talk about in this blog?  The creating of worlds and getting to know characters and stuff?  All that is fun for me.  Don’t get me wrong.  It can be tiring and frustrating and all that, but it can also be invigorating and entertaining.  And it also feels like it’s a part of me now, which is kinda cool.

TWO: It’s an escape.  I sometimes say that I don’t write non-fiction because if I wanted to experience real life, I’d just live it.  I write fiction and fantasy because that means that, in some small way, I get to live in made up worlds with new and different rules.  It also helps on those few occasions when I’m not so happy with my (real) world.  If that happens, I can just go somewhere else for a while, so to speak.  Also…

THREE: I can do things in my books that I could never do in real life.  My characters can do all kinds of amazing things that I could never do.  For example, among all of my characters, the following skills have been accumulated: Magic, shape shifting, fighting, ballet, gymnastics, healthy eating habits, courage, confidence, liking cats, um…being male?  On top of that, they have experience in their lives that I don’t have yet, and possibly never could have.  Like that being male thing.  Or having a boyfriend/husband.  Not that I couldn’t have a boyfriend!  I just haven’t yet.  But that same constraint doesn’t exist for some of my characters.  Get it?  So even though I can’t do/haven’t done a lot of those things, in a way, I still have.  Thanks to (to name a few) Riley, Shauna, Eric, Aaron, Cady, Serrafiel, Molly, Cage, Aiden, Elysia, Aradia, and Kemnebi.

FOUR: I want to share my stories.  Please note that “share” is different than “sell”.  Yes, it would be awesome if I could sell my stories because money is important.  But that’s not why I write.  I mean, come on.  No one ever says, “I really want to make money.  I think I’ll invest any energy at all in becoming an author.  That’ll be worthwhile.”  So no, money is not the ultimate goal.  But I strive to get published and I write this blog because I like to share my stories.  It’s hard to explain, but there’s a lot of satisfaction in it.  I feel like…if I can just entertain one person, or make someone feel something…then maybe my efforts have been validated.  And it doesn’t count if it’s someone who knows me, because truthfully I can’t stand sharing my stories with friends and family.  It’s basically like bearing your soul to someone close to you and then just…living with that.  Like I’m putting myself up on display.  And I really don’t feel comfortable with that.  Some form of anonymity feels better.  Which is why getting published is preferable to emailing my relatives every time I finish a new book.

I think that’s it.  Those are the main reasons anyway.  So that’s it for now!  I hope you like my pictures!  I guess you still saw a wall of text in this one but…here, I’ll make it up to you!

Word of the Day: Invigorate (v) – to fill with life and energy; energize

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January 20, 2012 · 4:05 PM

Let Me Count the Ways…

People are always asking me, “Rebecca, what do you do when you’re bored?”  And I answer by showing them this picture:

And then I usually start another blog post.

People also like to ask me who my favorite author is, and I can never answer.  The reason is that I have several favorite authors, and I like them all for different reasons.  So my next few posts are going to be dedicated to my favorite authors and why I love them.  There will be no particular order to the list, because I do really love these authors equally.  The numbering just helps me to organize things…and spend a needless amount of time drawing pictures.  Without further ado, let’s get to it!

Don’t try to read the words in the number.  You will hurt your eyes.  I basically made them up of names, places, and other significant nouns from the books/authors I am honoring.  In this case, it’s The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.  And yes, I am talking about one series, though Mr. Butcher has written other books.  The Dresden Files just happens to be my absolute favorite example of his work.  And here’s why:

Jim Butcher’s writing flows in ways that I’ve never seen before.  That’s not to say that other authors’ writing doesn’t flow.  It’s just that Jim Butcher’s has a very specific kind of flow that really gets under my skin and draws me in.  His main character, Harry Dresden, is the narrator, and I love Harry.  He captures you from the get go.  The narrative voice in these books is so distinct, it is really, really hard to remember that Harry is a fictional character.  He is sarcastic and witty, he is lovable, and he is fearsome when he has to be.  I’ve talked about these books before, and I’ve cartooned these books before, and I’ve given examples from these books before, so I really shouldn’t have to go into it too much.  One thing I haven’t talked about is the plot.  Butcher’s got a mind for it like no other.  The series is like a rollercoaster – it takes you for a crazy ride and you just have to hang on.  Add the plot into the mix, and suddenly you’re on that rollercoaster blindfolded, so you can’t see what twists and turns are ahead of you.  And Butcher is the one calling the shots.  It really is a thrilling ride, and I love every minute of it.

Tamora Pierce has so many things going for her.  I could talk all day about her amazing stories, her lovable characters, and her captivating narratives.  Don’t even get me started on her awesomely strong female characters who don’t take crap from anybody.  Not men, not royalty, and definitely not their snarky talking cat (but really, yes, the cat is probably right and they’ll realize that sooner or later and then they have to admit to it which is really frustrating because the damn cat gets so smug when you admit he’s right about something).

Nope.  Not going to talk about any of that.  Because I want to dedicate this post to the one thing that constantly amazes me about her.  Remember when I talked about the freedom of creating your own world?  Interestingly enough, I talked about it in the same post as I talked about The Dresden Files, linked above.  I might have mentioned my motto: Writing is the easiest, safest way to play God.  I stand by that.  If you create a world that is 93% active volcanoes, 4% rabid beavers, and 3% terrified people, then no one is getting hurt.  No one real anyway.  So it’s easy and it’s safe.  Comparatively.  But that easiness needs to be taken with a grain of salt, I think.  See, it’s really easy to write, “There once was a place where 900 people died every day from rabid beaver attacks alone.”  And it is jut as easy to delete that sentence, thus ending that world.  Here’s the grain of salt:  Compared to actually creating a physical planet that is populated by real people with real things, creating a literary world is quite easy.  That being said, if you want to do the literary world-creating right, then it is still a grueling, difficult process.  To make a real, believable, living, breathing world…well, let’s make a list of all the things you’d need.  (I’m going to try to go from big to small here)

  • Geography – Continents, oceans, etc.
  • Topography – mountain ranges, rivers, forests, deserts, etc.
  • Setting – Is this a fantasy world where flush toilets don’t exist and ogres carry princesses away from their castles?  Or is this a post-apocalyptic world where if you want food, you have to fight a radioactive chimpanzee for it using a spear you’ve fashioned out of cat bones and a tire iron?
  • Climate – Is it hot?  Humid?  Rainy?  Snowy?  How does that affect the resources that your characters have available to them?
  • Cities, states, countries, districts
  • Names – Everything needs a name.  Rivers need names, as do countries, states, cities, people, and any number of other things.
  • Politics – Monarchy, democracy, dictatorship, etc.  Not only that, but you need to decide which countries have what governments, what those governments are like, who’s feeling oppressed, who’s got a pretty good deal.  It goes on and on.  Politics are the hardest thing for me because I was never very good at grasping poly-sci.
  • People – Now you need to fill your world.  Figure out who’s ruling, who’s at war, who your main character(s) is/are.  This list goes on and on, so I’m just gonna leave it at that.
This is already making my brain hurt, and I don’t think this even comes close to being a comprehensive list.  But let’s move on to my point in talking about all this: Tamora Pierce does it.  And she does it in a way that leaves me in awe, because it all feels so real.  She covers every base, and some that you didn’t even think existed…which kind of screws up the baseball metaphor.  I often wonder how she keeps this entire world in her head and still remembers how to eat.  I mean, I have to assume that she keeps notes on these things so it’s not all stored in her brain, but still!  Respect.  That’s what I have for her.  Because on top of the amazing stories that are all interwoven so perfectly, and all those other things I said I could talk about but won’t for the sake of space, she has also created a very real world.  And she keeps track of it.  My hat goes off to her for that.
Real quick, I want to talk about why I’m writing about these things.  It’s because I think it’s important to be aware of why you like someone else’s work.  Because if you know why you like it, then you know what to emulate and what goal to strive towards with your own work.  Obviously I’m not advocating blatant plagiarism or ripping off famous authors or anything like that, but listing things like this does help to create a nice set of guidelines.  And it’s different for every person, so you should definitely think about who you like best and why.  When you’ve got the time.  Just a suggestion.  Stay tuned for more blatant sucking-up!
Word of the Day: Reverence (n) – a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe.

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