Tag Archives: humor

Mysterious Mobile Misogyny

This post is definitely going to be a non-sequitur considering my last one was like, “Yay I have a literary agent!” And then the post ended with a rejection factory? I guess I was trying to temper expectations, but I think I just did a bummer, so… sorry for doing a bummer. Suffice it to say, I still have a literary agent, and things are happening. I’m not sure what I’m allowed to say about those things yet, so I’m being cautious. But they are good things.

In the meantime! You are not gonna believe the trigger warnings for this post, but I promise they are real and should be heeded.

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING:
– Domestic Violence/Violence Against Pregnant Women
– Child Endangerment/Death
– Pregnancy/Difficult Pregnancy
– Miscarriage/Stillbirth
– Poverty
– Death/Freezing to Death/Hypothermia (human and animal)
– Starvation (human and animal)
– Disturbing Medical Imagery

I play a lot of stupid little iPhone games while I’m going about my day-to-day, and often these games are free with ads or they offer bonuses if you “watch” an ad. Since I usually have the games running while I’m doing something else, I tend to just “watch” the ads. Whatever.

Except… I noticed a terrifying trend. You may have seen this yourself at some point. A woman who is either pregnant or has a child (or both!) gets kicked out by her husband/boyfriend/??? and has to suddenly walk uphill in the snow against the wind to find a dilapidated shack in the middle of nowhere to survive and raise her child(ren) in. Then the ad implies only You can save these women by matching three things or merging two things or pulling a pin out of a thing. Often, the ads feature the women literally kneeling as if in supplication as they beg You (the viewer) for help. I took screenshots to help underline my point, so again I urge you to look at the Trigger Warnings above.

There are so many things wrong with this ad trend that I am going to fall back on a classic Internet tool: The Numbered List (Number 1 may surprise you!)

1. This is not the game…
Look, you saw the title of this post. You know I’m getting there. Just give me a second to get to feminism. I want to start with the more practical stuff.

One of the things that baffles me about mobile game ads (and something that many other people have pointed out) is that they very rarely show actual gameplay. It goes further than that, though! It’s about regulations. It’s about the fact that they’re not required to show actual gameplay. Occasionally, Candy Crush will put “Not actual gameplay” or something similar in teeeeeny tiny font at the bottom of the screen, but no one else does!

It goes further again! These are all different games! Look at this:


If you play mobile games, this image may be familiar to you. Like me, you may be so used to seeing this woman and this little girl being desperate for warmth that it doesn’t even occur to you that the above image is not from the game you’re thinking of. More likely, you’re thinking of this game:


No. Regulations.

I’ve thought about this and thought about this. I have put more thought into these ads than the people making them. They don’t deserve to live rent-free in my head, yet here we are. Not only are the games blatantly plagiarizing each other, but the ads are copied and pasted. If I were any good at research, I would look into the ad companies, not the games. I wonder if all these games farm out their ads to the same company, or if ad companies are copying each other. I have literally seen ads for Royal Match one day that suddenly have a character from Toon Blast in them the next. Literally the same ad, just a bear from Toon Blast subbed in for the king from Royal Match. To add insult to injury, the “level” portrayed in the ad does not accurately represent the gameplay or imagery in either game.

And there’s also this:

Sometimes the mom in this ad is a completely different woman (the green-haired woman who is the actual mother in the game being advertised), and I think the Black woman above is from a different game from the same company. They just swapped the two female characters out for some reason??

People say (I think) that the reason there are no regulations is that a lot of these game and/or ad companies are outside the U.S. To this I say, the Internet has existed for a long time. Probably over ten years, at a guess. It’s time to maybe start thinking about how to address internet issues, domestic and international, with something other than: “It’s the internet…” *shrug*

Also…

2. I didn’t agree to see this sh*t

For every horrifying image I posted above, there are a hundred I didn’t dare screenshot or post here because they are literally too horrific to share. I don’t even want to put the words together that would describe them. But I kind of have to, so… REMEMBER THE TRIGGER WARNINGS, but know that there will be no images accompanying this section.

“ASMR” games that involve pustules and the lancing thereof. Foot fungus. Ingrown nails.

“Hospital” games that involve miscarriage and/or stillbirth, including little baby ghosts flying out of their mothers.

Surgery on children while their parents weep and wait for the outcome.

A starving baby cow trying desperately to suck on the frozen udder of its mother, who has frozen to death.

A woman being assaulted by her husband, getting shoved into a glass table, and lying on the floor while blood pools around her head. (She later wakes up in a body bag.)

Pregnant women being physically assaulted by their partner. Yes, you read that right. Pregnant women (plural) because multiple games have ads that feature visibly pregnant women being physically attacked. (In at least one case, this scene precedes yet another version of the pregnant woman fighting her way through a blizzard towards an abandoned shack.)

I. Did. Not. Sign. Up. For. This.*

Just because they are cartoons does not mean they can’t be morbid, horrifying, unsettling, triggering, or any combination thereof.

In a world where sane people are starting to realize that it’s best to include warnings for sensitive content, and where more and more literal children** are playing on their or their parents’ phones, we have ads for sex games popping up on our phones. We have ads with horrific medical maladies or imagery that makes you want to retch. No warning. No way to report ads (in some cases) or request not to see certain ones again. This is number 2 on the list, but it might make me the most livid. Well, maybe it’s tied with the misogyny bit. Speaking of…

*Your counterargument may be that I did sign up for this by agreeing to watch an ad and/or play a game that is free with ads, but I would argue there’s a certain expectation of censorship for an ad that can have literally any audience. Ads are regulated in other contexts. You don’t go to see PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie and expect to see a preview for Cocaine Bear.

**I don’t disapprove of children playing on phones or tablets; this is an outdated criticism of “kids these days” and/or their parents. I don’t limit my screen time, so why would I limit my child’s? I also don’t think it’s up to an ad company to regulate content my child sees. Screen time should be supervised. But things happen, don’t they? We do our best.

3. Okay, it’s time for the feminism now.

Look, I’m not saying men come off great in these ads. They are often cheating on the “protagonist” of the ad, or they are abusive. At the very least, they are inattentive and unsupportive. That’s not a great look. But… I still need to point out that not one of these ads features a man kneeling before you, desperate for you to solve a puzzle correctly so he can avoid dying of exposure.

Strangely enough, when the ad includes an animated hand doing the puzzle (usually poorly, so that you will be so infuriated by the incompetence that you’ll download the game just so you can do it better), it often is a well-manicured uh… female-presenting hand?

So one thing I will say is they’re not explicitly sending the message that only men can save these women and children. In fact, in the lore of the ad, men are the ones who put them in that situation in the first place. Damn men. Always making their exes live in shacks in the middle of the tundra.

But (I’m saying “but” a lot, I know) they sure are saying these women are helpless without a man in their lives. The equations they present are:

Woman + Man = Home With Working Heat and Electricity

Woman – Man = Living in Squalor

I cannot stress this enough: This isn’t what the game is about. These scenes aren’t featured in the games. Or not all of them anyway. They are explicitly using this as a marketing technique, or worse (somehow) using it as a marketing technique because they’re copying someone else who used it as a marketing technique. Again, the frustration stems from not being able to do anything about this. Some ads have a button to report them for one reason or another, but I swear some of them do not have such a button. Even if they did, I’m not sure a complaint would change anything. Sure, I could rate the app one star for its ads alone. That would accomplish… nothing. These games have thousands of reviews. New reviews will have no effect.

And there isn’t enough space here to complain about how much real money these games push for on a regular basis.

It’s free! All you have to do is pay money to unlock it!

Maybe I will look into these ads a little more for another post, figure out the who, what, when, where, and why of it all. It sure does make me mad.

At least now I can finally delete all these screenshots from my phone.

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Filed under Games, Humor, writing

My Twenty-Year Journey

Almost exactly twenty years ago, when I was thirteen years old and finishing up middle school, I wrote my first “book.” I put it in scare quotes because I’m sure the word count didn’t even approach 50,000, and also it was a book written by a sheltered thirteen-year-old horse girl with self-esteem issues. So it was by no means a good book. BUT it was the start of me wanting to write. I caught the bug, so to speak.

Incidentally, when I was teaching, I let my creative writing students read the first page of my thirteen-year-old self’s book and then roast me. You know, as a team-building exercise.

I don’t believe in fate or any kind of higher power. Or… I tell myself I don’t. But the fact that it’s been almost exactly twenty years… and I got this fortune out of a fortune cookie right after I started querying Falling for the Protagonist that said “Quiet faith will bring you boundless rewards soon”… Folks, I think my brain really wants to believe in fate.

Anyway, I have a literary agent now. And, folks (again), the impostor syndrome hit immediately. I didn’t even have a chance to let a single happy tear flow gently and poignantly down my cheek before my brain went numb with fear. It was a mental paralysis unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. What if I never wrote another book? What if I wasn’t as good at this as I thought? After all, I’d written many books in the past, and only two of them have been good so far. That’s not exactly a confidence-bolstering number.

A very frazzled mini Bex yelling "I forgot the alphabet! How many R's in hurricane? What even IS a book??"

I’m not saying this to earn what I can only call congratulatory pity, where you’re both patting my back exuberantly and also murmuring, “You poor dear,” at the same time. I just want to be as honest as possible about my experience. I also caught the teaching bug a long time ago, so I’ve always wanted this blog to be at least somewhat instructive and informative in nature.

Two bugs introducing themselves to each other as the writing bug and teaching bug respectively.
(yes I know “bug” in this idiom refers to a germ or sickness, but that’s not fun to draw)

Fortunately, the happy did eventually make an appearance. And boy is it cool. This is just so cool, guys. I started this blog when I was nineteen years old (still somewhat sheltered and at least partially a horse girl), and my writing journey has been fraught with twists and turns. Though I started writing twenty years ago, I didn’t start thinking seriously about getting published until I was around sixteen. Still, that’s a long time to be trying without success. So in that other post when I said, “Hang therein“, I meant it! This industry is fickle and stressful, but there is no time limit on success.

So how did this happen? I queried over 40 agents, and as I said in the above linked Hang Therein post, the rejections started coming in. This is Normal and Expected, but of course it hurts! Especially since I believed in the idea with all of my Disney-Loving, Happily-Ever-After-Craving heart! But THEN one day in February, my younger son woke me up at like 5:30AM, and as I was doing the sleepy zombie shuffle downstairs to make him a snack, I checked my phone.

Kate Rizzo of the Greene & Heaton agency in London had requested the full manuscript. I was so sleepy that I genuinely had an experience that I’d previously thought only existed in fiction: I questioned if I was dreaming. To be fair, I had had dreams in the past where I’d gotten good news from an agent. (Waking up from those dreams sucks by the way.)

The last time I had an agent, it was because I had interned for her, and I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with ADHD. So when she offered me representation, I said yes immediately (Thanks, impulsivity) even though I didn’t think we’d be a good fit. I had no idea that I could tell her I’d think about it, query other agencies, etc. I do not mean to badmouth my previous agent! I am so grateful to her for giving me and Hellbound a chance, for believing in what we could do, and for doing the best job she could for the book. But we weren’t a good fit. It’s okay to admit to yourself that an agent doesn’t feel like a good fit to you.

Anyway! Kate had requested the full manuscript. This is something not every writer knows, so I will say it plainly: A full request is good news because you are potentially one step closer to the goal, but it is not a guarantee of representation. An agent can and will reject a full MS if they read through it and decide the book isn’t for them after all. Typically, if this rejection happens, you will get more than the boilerplate email template rejection. The agent will give you a critique or summary of their reasoning for rejection.

Anyway, it is very hard to be extremely happy while simultaneously preparing yourself for rejection. Especially when rejections from other agents are still rolling in. I started to ask myself, “What are the chances that all these other people are saying no, but this one person is going to say yes?” (Spoiler Alert: The chances are pretty good. Because, as far as I can tell, that’s often how finding representation works; in a sea of disinterested fish, you find that one fish who is interested.)

I managed to handle the wait, but I don’t think it was easy to live with me at the time.

You already know how this story ends, so I won’t drag it out. Kate read the book, we chatted, she offered me representation, I took some time to think about it (Take that, ADHD!), and then we chatted again. It was during chat number 2 when I accepted representation.

And now I have a literary agent 20 years after I wrote The Dreamcatchers Dream Walkers.

I swear I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but I also have to point out that having representation is not a guarantee of publication. The entire publishing process is a rejection factory.

A factory pumping out the word "NO" over and over again on a conveyor belt.

I understand this well, especially after my journey with Hellbound, and I’m only pointing this out because I don’t want anyone out there to be like, “Congrats on getting published!” I’m not published yet, but I’m certainly not trying to bring the mood down by pointing that out. The mood is great. The mood is moodtastic. Because, regardless of eventual publication (or lack thereof), it is so exciting and wonderful to have someone believe in you and your work. And, hey, if not this book, Kate and I can try another one! I’m looking forward to documenting my progress through this blog. I’m glad I impulsively decided (Hm… okay, you win this one, ADHD) to start it back up even though no one blogs anymore. I like having a record of where I’ve been and what I’m doing writing-wise.

If you’ve read this far, thanks! Wish me luck!

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Strong Concepts

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the term “strong concept.” It is at once easily definable and as inscrutable as Big Foot’s daily schedule. What makes an idea a strong concept? I hope everyone will agree with me when I say: Every strong concept is an idea; not every idea is a strong concept.

Lately, due to developments that I can’t talk about yet (but OH BOY get ready!), I have been mentally poring through my seemingly unending list of book ideas and trying to figure out which ones can actually be made into a solid story with a beginning, a middle, and even an end.

Something I’ve come to understand is that I often have ideas for scenes that really rock my socks, but just because I have a good scene in mind does not mean that there is a world outside of that moment. It doesn’t mean the characters in the scene are three-dimensional. One good scene certainly can’t carry an entire book. (Unless, I guess, that book was written by Stephenie Meyer. Even then, if I had been given the chance to edit Twilight, it would have turned out differently.)

For example, I have this one scene in my head. A woman walks into a PI’s office and enlists his help to find the man who is going to kill her… at some point in the future.

The backstory for the scene is in my head, too, so I guess it’s really two scenes. See, the woman has a very specific psychic ability–the first time (and only the first time) she touches someone, she gets a brief glimpse into that person’s future. She can’t control what she sees, how long the vision is, or even how far into the future she sees (could be a day, a year, ten years, or any other length of time). One day, she bumps into someone at a coffee shop and the glimpse she gets of his future is terrifying because she sees herself from his perspective as he’s about to stab her. By the time she recovers from this vision, the guy is long gone, and she only has a vague idea of what he looks like. Even worse, she can’t help but shake the feeling that he’d orchestrated that contact, like he’d known exactly what would happen to her and exactly what she’d see. Hence, hiring a PI to help her find him before he finds her.

But… then what? Who is this woman? Who is the PI? Do I even know how PIs work? I mean… I watched Jessica Jones and read The Dresden Files as well as Nora Roberts’ Hidden Star. So… no. No, I don’t know how PIs work. Do I know how to write a competent mystery? I mean… Hellbound has one. But I can’t say I went about constructing that particular mystery in a structured and logical way. Plus, the building blocks of that one were relatively simple. A mystery for adults? One that has to carry an entire novel and involves psychic phenomena? That might be out of my wheelhouse.

Is this a Strong Concept? Hmm… no. I don’t think so. Could it be? Okay, yes. It certainly could be. With some real work put into the setting, the characters (including the villain!), and the plot, I think it could transform into a Strong Concept. But right now, it’s an idea. And I’m not sure it’s an idea that merits the work it would take to make it into a Strong Concept.

Here are some questions I ask myself when I’m trying to determine if I have an Idea or a Good Idea:

  • Why do I want to tell this story? Is there a message the events and characters I’m toying around with will send? Is there something that a stranger could gain from reading about these people and events? Some sort of anchor in the real world and the Human Condition? Along similar lines…
  • Whom am I telling this story for? (It’s tempting to write an entire book just for myself that speaks to my own needs and grievances and hopes and dreams. But my biggest goal is to write for an audience, so if I find myself saying, “I want to write this for me”, I shelve the idea.)
  • What are the characters’ personalities like? Are they more than just cardboard cutouts that I’m moving around from scene to scene?
  • Can I write this book? Do I have enough knowledge and experience to make this story believable? Or will I come off as ignorant and incompetent as I attempt to play in a space I’m completely unfamiliar with?

Feel free to weigh in. What makes an idea a Strong Concept? And what makes you hit Pause and go back to the drawing board?

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Filed under books, Humor, reading, writing